Growing Up Lammy

Lammy In Space

2011-09-15T16:01:00.000Z

Good News

2011-07-17T19:11:00.002Z

Payback

2011-07-16T03:04:00.002Z

Let's Eat

2011-07-14T18:00:00.001Z

The Hideout

2011-07-12T07:16:00.001Z

Saving Paul

2011-07-11T05:38:00.002Z

Lambchops for Supper

2011-07-09T21:03:00.002Z

Stuck In Space

2011-07-09T01:16:00.000Z

Monster

2011-07-08T00:33:00.002Z

New Woman

2011-07-06T21:23:00.002Z

Romancing the Clone

2011-07-05T01:30:00.002Z

Torture Chair

2011-07-04T00:09:00.002Z

Friend or Foe?

2011-07-03T01:15:00.002Z

Subway Train

2011-07-02T00:47:00.002Z

Rebels

2011-07-01T05:39:00.002Z

There's an Underground City

2011-06-30T06:36:00.004Z

Storm Coming

2011-06-29T06:12:00.002Z

Dating Aliens

2011-06-28T06:54:00.002Z

Ugly Guys

2011-06-26T02:42:00.002Z

Get Ready

2011-06-25T00:44:00.003Z

Rescue Team

2011-06-23T21:43:00.002Z

Fae's Escape

2011-06-22T17:30:00.002Z

Trouble on Panamanian Moon

2011-06-20T07:48:00.002Z

Paul In The Brig

2011-06-19T00:14:00.002Z

Trying to write dialog. The writing is harder than making the animation!

Trapped

2011-06-18T05:22:00.002Z

Who Is She?

2011-06-17T01:22:00.002Z

Paul Cheats

2011-06-14T02:38:00.000Z

Being Followed

2011-06-11T15:40:00.000Z

New Uniform

2011-06-09T15:45:00.000Z

Back To Space

2011-06-07T09:20:00.001Z

Sky Scooters

2011-05-29T19:34:00.000Z

Lunar Lander

2011-05-25T16:18:00.001Z

Fight?

2011-04-07T13:53:00.000Z

Naked In A Net

2011-03-29T13:05:00.002Z

Arnie heard a faint high pitched sound in the dark as he relaxed in a reclining chair on the beach. It seemed an acute shrill or whine.

This was the first night of his vacation on the tropical island, and his friends had teased him about the large insects that came in from the jungle behind his rented cabin.

Again he heard the soft, distant squeal and sat up abruptly.

He then noticed a slender, naked beam of light streaking across the beach and realized it came from the front door of the cabin down the beach. He recognized the sound as a squeak of rusty hinges as the door opened wider revealing the silhouette of a very shapely woman who seemed to look around as she stepped methodically from the porch into the moonlit sand. He squinted to see the distant vague image as she moved into the soft surreal light.

She was naked!

He wiped his eyes wondering if this was a dream. Was she going skinny dipping in the moonlight? His mouth fell open as he held his breath. He then felt a tingling on his leg and saw that it was a large spider crawling on him. In the excitement of seeing the naked woman he just flipped the over grown over legged creature from him with a swift flip of his fingers.

The girl began running in the sand as her long, dark hair blew like the leaves of the psalm tree in a storm and her firm breasts bounced one up and one down in synchronization, similar to the coconuts shaking.

His body tingled, especially between his legs as he gripped the banana shaped bulge front of his swimming trunks which had appeared as instantly as the popping of a popcorn kernel.

She had long shapely deer legs and took quick graceful strides causing her large buttocks to rhythmically vibrate.

His engorged penis peeked its head out of the top of his trunks as if trying to get a glimpse of the naked beauty streaking across the beach, but she vanished quickly into the dense dark foliage of the jungle, just as the penis would like to disappear into her dense dark pubic hair.

He leaped to his feet and kicked the sand. His penis seemed to jerk him forward as if saying, Follow her! He resisted its pull amidst the darkness of the uncertain situation.

This was to be a second honeymoon for Arnie Flackston and his wife, Annie, who were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary with a vacation to a tropical island paradise. They had rented a cabin where they could have plenty of privacy now that the kids were grown. It would be like starting a second marriage together.

The first place they went when they arrived on the island the day before was at the bank in the small town to cash a traveler's check.

"Which hotel are you staying at?" the pretty clerk asked him.

"We have an ocean side cabin just a few miles out." he said.

"Oh, yes!" she smiled widely. "That is the most beautiful spot on the island. You must watch the sunrise. You will see some fantastic scenery at dawn."

"Thank you, I'll do that." he said smiling widely at the young girl behind the counter with long back hair and tanned skin.

"I guarantee that you will find it most interesting and satisfying." she told him.

"I'm sure I will." he replied, noticing her wide eyes and wide smile which was contrasted by his wife's smirk.

"I just hope the insects don't upset you."

"Insects? What about them?" he asked, recalling how his buddies teased him about the huge bugs.

"They are just a little larger here. But nothing to be alarmed about. You grow used to them." She smiled and seemed to wink.

His wife was a bit disturbed with him as they drove the country roads toward the cabin.

She began harping at him: “This is supposed to be our second honeymoon. There you were ignoring me and flirting with that young girl. She wasn't interested in you. She was just doing her job. She wouldn't want an old fat man who's going bald. Why did you have to get a place so far out in the boondocks? I know what you'll do, just sit around and ignore me like the past thirty years. And what about those bugs? A bunch of giant cockroaches and spiders. Second honeymoon my eye!”

He ignored her as he usually did, thinking what a dream come true to have ocean side property on a quiet, peaceful island.

He woke early that first exciting morning and made him a nest in the beach chair to watch the sun slowly rise and paint the sky and clouds, anticipating a breath taking scene of nature's beauty, which the lady at the bank had described. Yet he had not expected such an amazing sight as he had just beheld.

The sun slowly peeked out from the ocean and rose to become a blinding light.

Things gradually changed from shadowy figures to clear bright objects of reality.   Then the beautiful young girl walked slowly from the jungle back to her cabin. Her beauty was very clear in the newly risen sun; as beautiful as he had imagined the shadowy figure to be.

She had huge pink nipples capping her firm, dark, bulging breasts, so clear now as she slowly walked to her cabin after her jog. The beads of sweat shined on her muscular thighs and naked ass. All had become so clear that he could almost count the hairs between her legs as she took long slow strides, giving him a short smiling glance as she disappeared into her private domain.

Such beauty, he thought. Why is she doing this? Does she just like to jog in the nude? Is she aware of me here watching her every move and examining every detail of her young vivacious body? She had looked at me and smiled. Was she hoping I would follow her into the jungle?

He thought of how many woman wish for things to happen, but are afraid to come out and be forward. They hint. This may be such a situation. Was something supposed to happen? Was something meant to happen?

Should he follow her into the jungle?

The next morning he leaned back in his reclining chair awaiting the squeak of her cabin door.

She suddenly appeared, then dashed out of sight. He rose from the chair, facing the jungle. The front of his swimming trunks bulged, and he held it as it tingled and seemed to say to him, “Let's go!”

He walked toward the foliage, the closer to the trees, then slowed his pace. He stopped short, took a deep breath, then returned to his chair on the beach.

He sat back in the chair, but imagined himself continuing into the jungle behind the beautiful nude girl, following the broad bouncing cheeks of her buttocks. He was gradually catching up with her as if she was purposely slowing her pace. She glanced over her shoulder at him with a wide smile.

The path through the dense underbrush was twisted, and he lost sight of her for a moment as she made a turn. He stopped, thinking he had lost her, but then noticed a small clearing to the side.

When he entered the clearing he found her laying on her back-- on a clump of large leaves, which she had gathered in advance and fashioned into a bed pallet . Her large erect nipples were bright red atop her firm breasts as they buoyed with the wavy motion of her deep breathing.

She peered into his eyes, then her gaze fell to the bulge in his swim trunks. She licked her lips and rubbed her navel. Sliding her hand slowly to the thick dark hair between her widely spread legs revealing a pink Venus fly trap.

His trunks zoomed to his ankles and he stepped out of them and slowly approached her. His penis pointed the way like a compass. As he mounted atop her she spoke softly into his ear between juicy licks.

"I thought you'd never take my hint. What took you so long, I waited so long, oh, you are so long!"

His fantasy abruptly ended as he saw her in the reality of the bright newly risen sun walking from the jungle. He stared at the clear sight of her naked body, now even more beautiful than ever.

Why didn't I go?   he thought to himself as he held the bulge in his trunks which seemed to say, “You blew it!”

The girl paused a moment in front of her cabin, looking at him, her dark eyes peering through the strands of long moist hair blown across her face. She had a wide smile. She entered the cabin and closed the door, gone for another day.

His fantasy and the clear reality seemed to blend together in his mind.

Why shouldn't I make it all a reality? he thought.

As her door slammed, he slammed his fist on the arm of the reclining lawn chair.

Damn, he thought. Why didn't I follow her this morning?

The days were passing ever too quickly. Soon his vacation would be over. Why didn't he follow her into the jungle instead of just dreaming about it? What was there to lose? He must follow her in the morning. This time for sure, he told himself.

If he doesn't, then he will spend the rest of his life wondering what would have really happened. What would it have been like?

Tomorrow for sure he would go. Tomorrow he would find out. Tomorrow he would make his dream a reality, just as the sun made the shadowy images so clear. The clear true image was even more beautiful than the dream.

Tomorrow he would follow her into the jungle.

He sat around all day thinking of her. So many questions and doubts rose. Maybe she is just a tease. Perhaps she only wants to jog for exercise and really doesn't pay attention to him. Yet she did smile at him.

It could be a set-up, maybe his wife hired her to test his loyalty. Maybe she'll cry rape and cause him to lose his job, a plan by some secret enemy who wants his position at work. A woman that beautiful could get any man she would want, why would she want him? He just might be getting older and his imagination is out growing his shrinking experiences. Too much TV?

He looked at his wife as she chattered and nagged, then pictured the young girl in his mind.

That short time in the morning was just a short part of her day. At first, that was all he could concentrate on, yet there must be more. There was still hours to consider. She was not just a fantasy character from his imagination; the dawning sun revealed in detail that she was real.

Very real.

The jungle and what she did in there was still a mystery to him. Likewise her daily activities were obscure. He noticed that she left her cabin a short while later in the morning wearing a dress suit and heels, looking very neat and business like.

He dressed and drove to the small village looking for the new car she left in.

He let his wife out to shop while he surveyed the parking lots, and sure enough, he found her car in the bank employees parking lot. He had thought he saw her somewhere before. She was the clerk at the bank who had cashed his traveler's check when he first came to the island. He just didn't make the connection .

Now it all came back to him.

His first impression was that she was just a clerk in a bank doing her job, being friendly to him as she must do to every customer. Now he began to see things clearer. It dawned on him what she was really trying to say to him.

He sat behind the steering wheel of his car in the bank parking lot beside her car thinking of the shadowy figure running into the jungle. So young and so beautiful.

I must go into the bank, he thought as his hands perspired while he gripped the wheel tightly. He took a long deep breath thinking he had come this far, he must go into the bank and face her. He must go into the jungle in the morning!

He gripped the handle on the door and slowly opened it, but hesitated when he noticed the bulge in front of his pants. He lay his head on the steering wheel, closing his eyes and waited. Go down. Go down, he muttered to himself.

As he waited, the doubts again began to creep into his mind. Maybe his first impression was right. Suppose she was just doing her job, being friendly to him the same as she does all the other customers. She probably took a nude jog through the jungle every morning and he was of no concern to her.

Was his imagination larger than the bulge in front of his pants?

The bulge subsided gradually and he stepped from the car, walking slowly toward the bank. He rubbed his balding hair with his hand, tried to stuff his shirt tail into his pants over his protruding stomach and pressed his upper false teeth tight. He paused, walked back beside his car and peeked into his side mirror.

No, he thought to himself. That pretty young thing would never be interested in a middle aged man like me.

He reached for the door handle, then noticed a bumper sticker that read, "God don't make junk." He turned back toward the bank asking himself why he was made.

His penis seemed to whisper an answer: “He made you so that He could enjoy his marvelous creations through you!”

He entered the bank.

He stood by the door for a moment and examined all the clerks. His neighbor was by far the most beautiful. She was ravishing with her neat make-up, her hair fixed so nice, and sharp outfit.

He couldn't help but recall how she looked in the morning, and began to mentally undress her. He could see her firm large breasts and huge nipples, tight belly, tiny waist, thick thighs, the thick dark bush.

Then her eyes caught his and she smiled. He could sense his erection, it felt tight and cramped in his pants. Had she noticed it? Is that what caught her attention? He walked quickly up to the counter. He seemed to feel her eyes scan his body as he approached.

She just smiled and stared into his eyes.

He said nothing,

"Can I help you?" she finally spoke.

"What? Oh, yes..." he fumbled through his pockets. "I just wanted to cash a check."

"Very well. Do you have an account with us?" she asked.

"No, I'm vacationing. A traveler's check." He continued to feel all his pockets.

"Do you have identification?" she inquired dutifully.

"Oh, I think. Unless I left in such a rush. Oh, you remember me. I was here before."

"Yes?" she paused in thought, "Your face is familiar. You are Mr. ..."

"Flackston. Arnold Flackston."

"Are you enjoying your visit here, Mr. Flackston?"

"Oh, yes. Beautiful. Really beautiful. The scenery. You know. Like you said. The view. The sunrise on the ocean. The cabin. Next door to you."

She paused, then spoke: "Oh, yes. You are the couple staying in the parcel adjacent to my own. It is a magnificent view, I sometimes feel as if I blend into it, and become part of it. That is truly the most beautiful spot on the entire island."

"I'm very lucky. Yes. I go out every morning. Sit on the beach. Early, before sunrise. You know, like you told me . To see the sunrise."

"Oh, yes. I absolutely love the dawn." As she spoke he seemed to notice a slight blush in her dark complexion. "Are you bothered by the insects?"

"What?" he felt puzzled a moment. "Bugs? Oh, I've seen some. They are sort of big."

"I have lived here all my life. I am very accustomed to them, but many tourists seem frightened by the mere sight of them." Her large attractive smile returned to her face.

"When you jog?" He could not get her sensuous image out of his mind.

"Jog?" she looked puzzled.

"In the morning, In the jungle. The bugs? Are there big bugs in the jungle?"

"You might be very surprised what you find out there." She again smiled widely. "Did you wish to cash a check?"

"Check?" He again quickly examined his pockets. "I'm sorry. I must have left them at home. I'll come back later."

"Yes, please do come whenever you need to." She looked to the next customer as he walked back to the door.

He paused and looked back at her once more before leaving the bank.

He picked his wife up in town, but he could only think of the girl at the bank. Her wide smile. He ran the whole conversation over and over in his mind to find some hidden meaning to what had transpired.

When a person cannot be direct, saying outright what is on their mind, then they tend to use certain key words in other contexts to hint at what's on their mind.

He was sure she had done this just as he had done.

She had said that she felt as if she were part of the scenery, part of the view, part of his view. That must be a secret hint to him. Only he would know what that really meant. Only he knew that she ran naked on the beach at dawn.

Then she told him to come any time he wanted to. The other customers would think she meant just that, but only he knew that she ran naked into the jungle. So, when she told him to come she meant much more.

She really was telling him to follow her and cum.

He believed there was a secret flirtatious message in what she had said to him at the bank, not wanting the other customers to realize it. He just knew that she was wanting him to follow her and make love to her in the jungle.

Tomorrow!   he thought, Tomorrow I will go for sure.

As he drove home his wife harped at him: “Why did you go to the bank? Then where's the money? How stupid to forget the checks. Did you see our young neighbor? She wouldn't be interested in an old man like you. Did you get some bug spray? Of course you didn't. The bugs are awful. It's too hot. It's too humid. The prices are too high. The cabin is too far from town. You get up too early in the morning. Why do you get up so early? Do you want to see that young girl? She wouldn't give an old fat balding man a second thought. Your imagination is bigger than your... “

She just chattered on and on.

He could only think of the young girl. He envisioned her beauty. He saw her wide smile. He heard her erotic words: Come, come, cum.

She was part of the magnificent view. She was the most magnificent part of the view.

He was glad he went into the bank, for now he knew in his heart for sure that she wanted him to follow her into the jungle. All those little secret messages she gave him. That smile. So friendly.

All that evening his wife gave obvious hints that she wanted sex. She wore her sheer night gown. She talked about when and how they met. How he ravished her. This was to be their second honeymoon.

He ignored her hints. He was saving himself for the chance of a lifetime. Tomorrow. He could only think of what was about to happen. Tomorrow. He could only think of the young girl, and tomorrow.

He was up extra early the next morning. He paced across the beach anxiously awaiting twilight. He definitely would follow the young girl into the jungle this morning.

He knew in his heart that she wanted him to follow, and she had a thing for him. She wanted him sexually.

The clouds were turning purple, things were taking on a dream-like appearance. The sun was about to rise. Her cabin door opened. Her slender shadowy figure emerged from the cabin, ran through the sand and quickly disappeared into the jungle.

This is it, now or never, he thought. If I don't go now I'll spend the rest of my life wondering, and hating myself.

He followed her small, bare footprints to the edge of the forest where he paused, peering into the dense, dark, ominous foliage.

The brush and trees were so thick that there was only a small slit in which he had to push his body, forcing it in. Deeper and deeper he penetrated the jungle.

The path was more like a tunnel with living walls of damp foliage. He figured this is how his penis will feel when it ventures down the moist vagina of the lovely girl.

He followed the naked beauty down the winding path, but was unable to catch up. He felt a pain in his side as he forced himself onward. She was out pacing him, and gradually he lost sight of her.

He stopped, bent over coughing and gasping for breath. He slipped his hand into the front of his swim trunks to feel the bulge. He wanted to make sure it was ready. It was as hard as a rock and seemed to be larger than it had ever been.

Why hadn't I done this in the first place, he thought. Then I could have been doing it every morning instead of just sitting there thinking about it.

He continued jogging and could feel his heartbeat in his pants. There was a clearing up ahead. He stopped to catch his breath before going in. He wanted to gain his composure and be ready.

There she was lying in what looked like a hammock or net strung between two trees.

Her eyes were closed and legs spread. Her firm breasts rose with each deep breath, her nipples bright red and erect. Her smooth dark skin seemed to glisten as she rubbed her hand through her thick dark pubic hair.

It was all exactly as he imagined it would be.

She is there waiting for me, he thought as he let his shorts drop to his ankles. His hard penis pointed at the young girl and seemed to yell, “Let's go!” pulling him as if it was going to jerk loose from his body and shoot across the clearing by itself like a bullet toward the target between her legs.

He took a step forward, then paused as he heard a rustling in the bushes.

The brush moved. Someone, or was it something came slowly from the obscure brush in the twilight darkness. It was black, and seemed fuzzy, like someone in a fur coat. But on a tropical island? It was low to the ground, like a large dog, or more like a Shetland pony.

He hesitated, then took a step backwards.

It definitely was not a person, nor a pony.

As it entered the clearing and neared the girl in the net he could tell it was a spider.

A giant spider!

It clumsily crawled into the clearing, and he swiftly leaped back behind a tree.

The spider stepped next to the girl who reached out to pat it on the head like a pet. It then slowly climbed onto her in a coitus position.

He could see a huge red penis extend from the fuzzy looking insect. It lovingly wrapped its many legs around her, then slowly slipped the long slimy red protrusion deep between her legs. She wrapped her arms around the creature tightly, pulling it closer to make the penetration deeper.

She let out a long, loud groan as the thing began to move in a rhythmic manner. She breathed deep and loud with each thrust. The spider seemed to be making a high squill of pleasure. The beast and the beauty continued in the ecstasy of their act until Arnie bent down to pull up his shorts.

The creature paused, then backed from the girl.

She grabbed at it pleading for it to not stop, yelling "No, no, don't stop now. Keep going. Keep fucking me! I love it. Give me more;"

But the creature dismounted her and turned toward Arnie.

He stood frozen as it hissed shrilly at him. His swim trunks slid back to his ankles filled with shit. His penis fell limp. He stepped back as the fat, fuzzy creature moved closer.

He took another step back, leaving his trunks in the weeds. The giant spider made a lunge toward him.

He turned and quickly ran back down the narrow tunnel-like path through the tropical forest, this time feeling more like a turd being discharged down the rectum .

He never looked back. His feet sank in the sand, causing him to fall to his knees several times before he reached his cabin porch.

The sun had risen. The dull shadowy twilight had now become bright and clear.

He stood naked on his porch, realizing now why the girl ran nude into the jungle each morning. Not for him, but for that hideous looking creature with its long, pointed, red, slimy penis that made his seem like a toothpick.

“It's not that big!” his penis spoke, but he said, “She can have her grotesque creature if it takes a beast to turn a beauty on.”

He took a deep breath as he listened to his penis speak, “You don't need that anyway. You still have your wife. She knows what I can do for her. She was begging for me last night.”

As it spoke it began to take on its rigid form once more, from a wet noodle to loaf of bread. He took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob, and pulled the door open just a slit and slowly squeezed in the cabin.

He went straight to the bedroom. His eyes hadn't quite adjusted as he reached down for his wife on the bed. It felt as if she was under covers.

He tugged at the fuzzy covers.

He heard a shrill squill.

It wasn't covers at all! It was one of those huge spiders, and it was on top of his wife!

He jumped back as his eyes adjusted. She was on her knees with her head resting on the mattress, the creature sliding its pink, slimy shaft in from behind. She was moaning, groaning and breathing deeply. He turned, ran back outside.

He stood on the beach for a while, not knowing which way to go.

Finally he fell back onto his reclining chair and pulled a hat over his eyes to shield them from the bright sun.

He was then startled by the sound of footsteps in the sand. He jerked the hat away quickly, thinking it might be one of those big bugs.

He looked around, and saw the young girl walking toward him. He quickly sat up.

"Hello Mr. Flackston." She said in her warm, pleasant voice. "I saw you napping and just thought I'd come by to say hi. Have you enjoyed your vacation?"

He noticed she was wearing a flesh colored bathing suit that gave the impression of nudity.

"Oh, it was fine. Just fine." he said as he stared out at the ocean.

So she has a skin colored suit on, he thought, I just imagined that she was naked! I guess I have been dreaming all this.

The girl then tossed his soggy, shitty trunks onto his naked lap and said, ''You'd better cover that poor little fellow up." She laughed all the way back up the beach to her cabin.

The End

Lammy's Backstory

2011-03-27T06:47:00.000Z

    My hand shook as it rubbed the rough, cold tombstone that displayed my name. The Grim Reaper stared from the black hood that framed his bare skull, as his boney fingers reached toward me until his hand rested on my protruding stomach. I became pregnant sometime after my Death when my friends cried over my casket out of my sight because it was closed. I had been burned in a fire that I started, quite by accident. I sat in the midst of a circle of candles chanting from a book, which caught fire. Then my clothes began to blaze as well as the house. The heat and flames left me quite a mess and not at all presentable for viewing. So there my stiff body lay in the dark only able to hear their sobbing.
    I stood in the cemetery after my resurrection and breathed the fresh air deeply, drinking it in like a drunk with his wine as The Grim Reaper gently patted my stomach. I was alive again, but things had changed since my death. Now I carried the Reaper’s child soon to be released upon the unsuspecting world to wreak havoc. The Reaper seemed to slowly float backward, away from me fading into the darkness of the cemetery when I heard soft footfalls nearing me. I turned to see a mouth wide open on a bearded face of someone in a dress. It was Murrey Magdalene!
    She gently hugged me and kissed my cheek as tears swelled in my eyes with gladness to see him. She hugged me tightly, then backed off upon sensing my delicate condition. His hand gently caressed my stomach and a wide smile crossed her face as he asked meekly, “Is it mine?” I giggled a little, realizing why he would ask, since we had some fantastic sex several times shortly before my death. I couldn’t say no because it well could be her child inside me. I would much prefer to be carrying his child than a child of the Grim Reaper. Murrey held me gently as we walked through the dark cemetery stopping several times to kiss passionately making me desire to have her penis inside me once more, but we both hesitated and stopped for fear of harming the precious child that was nearly ready to emerge into this world.
    I peered back into the darkness and could have sworn I saw the Grim Reaper’s glowing eyes and below them, a frown. At least I thought it was a frown or as much of a frown that a skull’s face could muster. A shiver ran down my spine making my whole body shake and quake. Murrey Magdalene cuffed my woolly cheeks in an attempt to ease my fear. Yes, I said woolly cheeks. A witch had cast a spell upon me and turned my head into a sheep’s head. My name is Patty Lamb, and my nickname is Lammy. The angry witch had cast the spell making my face match my nickname. When Murrey said, “You don’t have to be afraid, mutton.” it caused tears to moisten my fluffy sheep face. My ugly lamb head remained the same after my death. Even the Devil himself couldn’t or wouldn’t change it back or reverse the curse. The sheep head is what killed me because I had circled myself with candles and was chanting, trying desperately to reverse the spell when the book and my clothes and the house became an oven that roasted me.
    I fingered Murrey’s black short chin hair while she pinched my tears as they were being absorbed into the fuzz around my wet nose. I said “Baaa” and he laughed and then she kissed my thin lips. He quickly stepped back making a strange grimace and what sounded as if she was trying to hide a gag. I realized it was my breath, since I ruminate. Just like a sheep, I regurgitated my cud into my mouth and Murrey had sucked in some of my vomit which I masticate then re-swallow. But I was ruminating mentally as well, thinking about the Grim Reaper and his sado-masochistic sex with me while I was in hell. I had feared that it would be my eternal punishment for my sexual promiscuity during my life. Murrey Magdalene and I slowly strolled away from the cemetery into spotlights formed by street lights. I felt the Reaper’s piercing eyes that sent little red aiming dots like those from a rifle fearing he was very eager to get hold of Murrey’s kind heart.
    We stopped when we heard what sounded like horse’s hooves clanking on the concrete sidewalk. We stood in a dark spot waiting to see what it was. A human sized goat walking upright entered a spotlight from the streetlight. The sight of a goat-man with large curved horns turned me on sexually. Then I realized it was Peter the Satyr. I rushed into the spotlight and hugged him, then kissed him passionately. He didn’t pull back or gag like Murrey did since he naturally regurgitated his cud and masticated just like I did. I had met him after the witch cursed me and made me have a lamb’s head before I caught myself on fire and died. That ram sex was sure great. As Murrey Magdalene entered the circle of light, I began to wonder just who the actual father of my child might be.
    Murrey twitched around and his bottom lip seemed to quiver as he stared up at Peter’s very large, sharp horns. Murrey was no fighter, but he was an excellent lover just as Peter was. And either one would make a very good husband and father. Murrey backed from the awesome stature of Peter’s tall, muscular body, and then told me that she’d see me later. He quickly turned and scurried into the darkness. Then she yelled. He had run into the Grim Reaper standing behind us. The hooded skeleton was strangling Murrey with his boney fingers, but I yelled for him to release her. The Reaper hesitated, then reluctantly removed his hand from her throat. Murrey ran. The Reaper again floated backward away from us into the oblivion of darkness. Peter the Satyr stood silently chewing his cud at full speed.
    “Hell wasn’t a very nice place.” I said taking Peter by the hand and walking toward the next spotlight. Peter’s hooves clopped. He swallowed hard, then regurgitated and chewed even more feverishly than before. He didn’t speak, but only masticated. I put my head against his large chest and pulled his muscular arms around me as if I were covering myself in my bed.
    We walked all hugged up like that for several minutes before Peter finally swallowed and said, “You were all burned up.”
    “Yes. The candles caught my book and clothes on fire.”
    “They kept your coffin closed.”
    “Yes. I know. I couldn’t see anyone at the funeral.”
    “But, now...” He peered down at my body which was now like it was before my death, except the belly.
    “It’s a long story.” I said.
    “Got nothing to do.” He spoke like a dullard, which I think he really was.
    So as we walked slowly, I began to explain the best I could what had happened and why I got my body back unscathed. Basically, when I got to the Gate, St. Peter said I wasn’t on the list to enter Heaven, so he sent me down to the Devil, who whispered a long time with his brother, the Grim Reaper. They laughed and flipped a coin. The Reaper won and he tied me to a pole and began his cruel kind of sex that was like torture. Finally St. Peter called and said there was a mistake because it wasn’t my time to die, so they had to send me back and put me in the cemetery with a new body. But I still had the sheep head, and I was pregnant. I did not know if the baby was from what the Reaper did to me or what I had done before my death experience.
    “Me Peter. Me saint?”
    “You’re Peter the Satyr. Not the saint.”
    “Who Saint Peter?”
    “He’s the angel that lets people into the gate of Heaven.”
    “Who Reaper?”
    “He’s the Death Guy who takes souls away from the body.”
    Well, Peter the Satyr was really great sex, but I hoped he wasn’t the father of my child. His gene pool scared me. But it would be better than having the Grim Reaper as the father. And Murrey Magdalene was very nice, but I felt that it might confuse the child not knowing if daddy was a male or female.
    That is how things went right after my return from my death experience. People called me a ‘zombie’ because I was dead and buried and then came back to life. But I really don’t like that term applied to me, and so I became a vegetarian. I figured they would be less likely to call me a zombie if I didn’t eat meat. And then I went to college because people seem to consider zombies dumb, very dumb. Just like sheep. And that was another goal, to reverse the curse and get my human head back. I accomplished that by going to a cartoon artist plastic surgeon who gave me a make-over. But he gave me an Anime head. At least that was better than a sheep head. My daughter did not have a sheep head, and she is very smart. I never have figured out who her real father is.
    That is all that I wanted to do here: give a little backstory about me. It really doesn’t matter, anyway. I am sure that no one will ever read this far. Someone may scroll down to this end part as many do and sigh a relief that they didn’t read all that crap up there. So be it. This is all nonsense anyway.

Taking a Walk

2011-03-24T23:07:00.000-01:00

Patty Wants To Be Like Starbuck on Battlestar Galactica

2011-03-19T08:30:00.003-01:00

Lammy's favorite character and roll model is Kara Thrace (Starbuck) in Battlestar Galactica. Here she parodies scenes from the episodes 'Valley of Darkness' and 'Maelstrom'.

Three Girls

2011-03-18T22:15:00.001-01:00

12 --- Final Entry

2011-03-07T00:39:00.003-01:00

I returned home and reclined on the couch alone, thinking. I had wanted to explain to Michelle that Jason only thought he was gay, but had told me he was thrilled with the sex with her. But I did not want to say anything that might link me to him last night. I figured he would show up and get with her later. At least I hoped he would.

I almost fell asleep when a loud knock at the door made me leap to my feet. I hesitated nervously, thinking maybe it was someone coming to inform me I was fired. I peered through the small peep hole on the door. It was a uniform of a policeman. I jerked back in panic thinking it must be worse than I imagined.

That silly song began to worm around in my head that went something like, “They’re coming to take me away, ha ha! They’re coming to take me away, ho ho!” Only they weren’t taking me for being crazy, but for running over Professor Kinkle with my car.

My heart went up in my throat as I slapped myself on the head for being so short tempered and aggressive all the time. I was a femme fatale kicking ass and reasoning later. Why was I so aggressive like shooting into the tree, or going to shoot the professor if Jason hadn’t grabbed the gun from me, or even trying to use my car as a weapon to run the professor down?

The pounding on the door continued. My sweaty hand slid around the knob as I fumbled to open the door. It was Hunky Dory! Had they sent my own lover to arrest me? He rushed in and kissed me, saying “Hi Lammy Baby.” Was that like a kiss of death, like gangsters do?

“It was just an acci... accid...” I said to him, hanging my head down trying to say ‘accident’.

He laughed loudly. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m the dummy who stuck my penis in the empty holster.”

“What, what, what?” I muttered like a motor boat trying to start. “Oh, I was thinking about that guy in the park.”

He looked puzzled. “That professor that got shot? How could that have been an accident?”

“He was shot?”

“Probably one of his students. They say he wasn’t very well liked by them. You never know what those kids will do now days.” He looked at me, “You have a gun, don’t you? You said that you shot at a window peeper.”

“I didn’t shoot the profes... prof...!” I yelled without thinking, trying to say ‘professor’.

“Of course not. You were with me at the motel when it happened.” When he said that, I imagined Salvador Dali’s painting with the melting clocks, like in my dream. Hunky thought I was with him when I was actually in the park.

“Oh, yes.” I pointed toward my bedroom, but noticed how my hand was shaking and pulled it down quickly. “I have one in my bedroom.”

“Good. You need protection.” He grinned and stared at my body with that lustful look. “Speaking of bedroom, well, I’m on my lunch break, so I stopped by, you know.”

That brightened me up. “Oh, Hunky! I sure want to make it with you!” I led him to the bedroom, but paused, “Just one thing.”

“What’s that, Lammy Baby?”

“Leave your hat and holster off this time!”

We both quickly undressed and dove into each others arms on the bed. I heard a creak and saw the bedroom door slowly open enough for Xin to poke in her head. She winked at me and grinned. I then got really excited. That turned out to be the best sex I ever had!

So I suppose this is a good place to end this little story. I got sexually satisfied. The professor recovered from the gunshot wound but retired, never mentioning the incident at Lovers’ Lane. Jason tossed the gun in the river and returned to school. He went on to become a lawyer and married Michelle. Xin and I remained close friends, so that ended my theory of my life formula of get friend, lose friend, get friend, lose friend. We are sisters 4ever!

THE END

11 --- Where's Jason?

2011-03-06T01:02:00.000-01:00

After the meeting, I strolled around the campus wanting to go over to the park and see if anything was unusual there. The criminal returning to the scene of the crime, I thought as I kept walking away from the park whenever I got close to it. Then when I was further from it, I would turn and walk dastardly toward it. When I started to turn away again, a boy student came up to me.

“Excuse me, Miss Lamb.” It was Mikie. Actually Michelle, the girl that dressed like a boy and had sex with Jason.

We both spoke the same words at the same time, “Have you seen Jason?”

The incident made us giggle, easing the tension a bit.

I spoke, “I guess neither of us has seen him today.”

“Wasn’t he at your class this morning?”

“No. And he never misses that class.”

Michelle sighed sadly. “I went by his dorm early, but his roomy said he never came in last night.”

“He must be really upset over something.” I said as I thought of the last time I saw him running into the darkness after Professor Kinkle had told him that he would be expelled. But I hesitated, not wanting to say anything about that to Michelle.

“I saw the ambulance take someone from this park. ”Michelle said grimacing. “But they said it wasn’t a student. An older person, but wouldn’t say who.”

“When was the last time you saw Jason?” I asked her softly to make conversation.

“Oh. Well. Yesterday. Right before dark.” She blushed.

“It’s all right, Michelle. I’m a sex ed teacher. You can talk to me. You guys had sex at the lovers’ cove, didn’t you?”

She stared at me stiffly. “How did you know?”

I realized I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t want to incriminate myself, so I lied to her, saying, “He just said earlier that he was thinking about going there with you.”

“Oh. Well. We did. It’s kind of embarrassing. I mean, he thought I was a boy. Do you think, maybe, if he was gay, that sex with a girl upset him or something?”

10 --- Where's Professor Kinky?

2011-03-05T01:47:00.001-01:00

Things just didn’t seem right to me as I sat in the morning faculty meeting. Jason’s seat was empty in my sex education class earlier, and now Professor Kinkle’s chair next to me was likewise empty. I thought perhaps they were both at the Dean’s office having Jason’s suspension hearing. I scanned the faces of the staff at the table, but nothing was unusual and no one was looking at me.

I leaned toward Mrs. Johnson in the chair on the other side of me and whispered, “Where’s Professor Kinkle?”

“In the hospital.”

“Miss Lamb.” Dr. Clark tossed a folder onto the table in front of me. “We made just a couple minor changes to your next lecture. Nothing significant. But we made a note for you to tell your students that the campus police will be patrolling the park more diligently, especially nocturnally.”

“Is something wrong?” I asked meagerly.

“We can’t release details due to an impending investigation. Just let them know that specific areas will be observed diligently for a while.”

Those little group sessions of our department staff usually lasted a very few minutes, then everyone scattered in all directions like disturbed pigeons in the plaza. I wanted to catch one to asked about Professor Kinkle, but I found myself standing in an empty, silent room.

I snatched up the folder and read the note, but it gave no further information beyond what Dr. Clark had told me. Fanning my hot, flushing face with the folder, I took a very deep breath and my lips quivered and jaw vibrated as tears of anxiety blurred my vision.

Had I struck the professor with my car? I thought he had jumped free and fell only because he lost his balance. Why hadn’t he told them anything about me? Why were they making me wait without knowing what was going on? I felt for sure that I was going to be fired. But why wouldn’t anyone say anything, or at least look at me with some indication they knew something?

I couldn’t understand how everything seemed so calm and like every other day all around me, while there was so much anxiety and shattering quakes going on inside of me. It was as though it was raining only on me and sunny everywhere else. I needed an umbrella, somebody to talk to. A friend. Was Xin still my friend after last night? More anxiety reeked through my guts.

9 --- Shadow of a Dream

2011-03-04T01:02:00.000-01:00

Xin and I sat close on the couch in the dimly lit living room. Xin suddenly began laughing hysterically and I looked all around to see what she might be laughing at.

“There. There on the wall!”

“What? What?”

She pointed behind me. “Your shadow from the lamp. There on the wall. Look.”

I turned but couldn’t figure what she saw that was so funny. She gently placed her hands on my neck and turned my head until the shadow formed my contour with my hair-do making it look like a drawing of Mickey Mouse with his two big round ears on top of his round head. Then I laughed, a little.

“You think I should get rid of the two buns?” I asked Xin self-consciously, as if she was making fun of me because they looked so stupid.

“No. No! They are cute on you. I mean, Patty, your nickname is Lammy. That hair-do makes you look sort of like a lamb.”

“Oh, yeah?” I giggled as I reached both my arms around her neck grabbing her long black hair and pulling it in two wads atop her head, making her shadow look like mine. “Your name is now Lamb, too! You married my goofy brother. You’re Xin Lamb! Lammy Baby!” I called her that because men seem to like calling me ‘Lammy Baby’ when they want me sexually.

She laughed as she threw her hands around me making us look like a pair of lovers. Then she kissed me right on the mouth. I gasped.

“Oh, Lammy. I love you! I think I really married Paul just to get to be your sister.”

I felt as if I should pull away, but hugging felt so comforting. And a kiss is always very nice. But a chill came over me and a feeling like we were being watched. Why do I always get that strange feeling all the time? I looked all around examining all the shadows in the room to see if any of them moved or resembled a person.

Xin pulled her hands back as she started to lean away from me, but I tightened my hug around her neck and pressed my lips to her’s, kissing her with the same passion I would kiss a man. Well, even more passionately.

“Lammy!” Xin whispered pushing me away. “I don’t mean like that.”

I leaned back on the couch not saying anything, but feeling quite embarrassed. Did I just ruin another friendship? Maybe that’s why my formula is F + F - F. Get a friend, lose a friend.
Another tear swelled in my eye as I felt such a fool. Then I heard something behind us.

There was a shadowy figure standing in the doorway holding something. Was it an ax? I screamed. Xin jerked as if shocked by electricity. The shadow figure of a girl then rushed toward me with the ‘ax’ above her head as if she was going to strike me with it. Xin leaped to her feet and ran to the light switch, turning on the bright ceiling light.

Lambkin stood beside me with a plastic toy Star Wars light saber in her hands. “Mommy, my light burned out.” It was just a flashlight attached to a long white plastic tube.

I tried to speak, but my mouth just flapped and no intelligible words came out at all, just gibberish sounds because of my verbal apraxia when I’m scared or nervous.

“The batteries died, Wendy.” Xin said to Lambkin. “We’ll get you new ones in the morning.”

“I can’t sleep unless my light sword is on and beside me in bed. I get scared.”

Xin walked toward the kitchen. “I’ll see if there are batteries in another flashlight that will work until we can buy some fresh ones.”

“I’ll take her to bed.” I finally spoke, but still feeling shook up after that scare which reminded me of the dream I had while napping in the afternoon.

As I tucked Lambkin in bed, she asked, “Why are there tears in your eyes, mommy?”

“You scared your mommy, Lambkin.” I said as Xin came in with batteries and put them in the toy sword. I flipped off the light and Xin turned on the light saber. Xin and I kissed lambkin on the cheek.

“Why were you guys kissing?”

We glanced at each other for a brief moment of silence. Then I said, “We love each other, just like we both love you, baby.”

We both quickly walked to the door to get out of the situation as quickly as possible when
Lambkin said, “But you don’t kiss me like you guys were kissing.”

“Go to sleep, baby!” I said closing her door.

8 of 12 --- Back Home

2011-03-03T01:15:00.001-01:00

I flipped on the lights in the empty living room, figuring everyone must have gone to bed. So I went to Paul and Xin’s bedroom and pecked on the door to see if they were still awake. No response. I slowly turned the knob and opened the door to see they were making love. I pulled the door back, but thought how I had wanted to do that and was so anxious and excited earlier. I hesitated and quietly pushed the door open again so I could see them.

Xin looked so pleased with the smile of Mona Lisa. My brother, Paul, was moaning so rhythmically it sounded like a song. My breathing became deep and fast just like Xin’s. I seemed to feel what she was feeling and what I had wanted to feel with Hunky, and didn’t even realize I was rubbing myself between my legs.

“What are you doing, mommy?” I jerked my hand up and quickly, and softly closed their bedroom door.

“Oh, I just got home and wanted to talk to Xin.” I led Lambkin to the living room. “But they are busy right now.” I clicked on a small table lamp, then switched off the bright ceiling light.

“What’s Aunt Xin and Uncle Paul doing?”

“Why aren’t you in bed, baby?”

“I was, mommy. I heard you come in. Were you crying?”

“I should have checked on you first.” I kissed my child. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This has been such a hectic day, evening, whatever.”

“What did you do mommy?”

“I, well, I... Come on, let me put you back to bed.”

“But mommy. You always want me to tell you all about what I did. Why were you crying?”

As I walked with her to her room I said, “I just had a date with a guy I thought was really good...”

“The cop?”

“But he turned out to be so dull.”

“Boring?”

“No, he was stupid.” I pulled the covers up on her and kissed her forehead. “You go to sleep now, baby.”

“Is that what made you cry?”

I sat on the edge of her bed and felt a tear swell up in my eye and slowly begin to stream over my cheek. “I just got in a mess. I always screw things up. This time really bad. I might get fired. Then how am I going to support you?”

“Is it that Mr. Kinky?”

“How do you know about Professor Kinkle?” I wiped my cheek.

“I hear you talking to Aunt Xin.”

“Oh. Well, you go to sleep now, baby.”

“What did Mr. Kinky do to you now?”

I kissed her forehead again and stood. “He was just kinky.”

“What is kinky, mommy?” She asked as I started out of her door.

“Later, baby.” I blew her a kiss and closed her door.

I returned to Paul and Xin’s bedroom door, placing my ear against it to listen. I turned the knob and very slowly pushed the door slightly to peer in.

“Lammy!” I stiffened and pulled the door shut when I heard Xin’s voice behind me. She had come out of the bathroom. I laughed, feeling so silly and guilty.

“Hi, Xin. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Let’s go to the living room.”

“You sure you’re not busy?” I asked.

“We’re done.” She laughed at me. “Don’t feel so bad. I’ve peeked in at you, too.”

“What? When? Who?” I was surprised.

“You’d be surprised, Lammy. I just wish my sex life was as much fun and exciting as yours.”

“You’d be surpri... surp...” I was so nervous that I just couldn’t say ‘surprised’.

We both laughed as we went into the dimly lit living room.

7 --- Professor Kinky

2011-03-02T00:40:00.000-01:00

“Get on back to your dorm, boy!” The old professor pointed his crooked finger extending from his shaking, wrinkled hand. “We’ll have your suspension hearing tomorrow.” Professor Kinkle spoke sternly, with the authority he was accustomed to in his classroom.

“There’s no rules in this college against students making out.” I protested as Jason ran off into the darkness, bidding the will of the weak old man just as the crowd of students stepped aside at the hot dog stand and allowed me to go ahead of them just because I was a teacher.

Professor Kinkle laughed, saying, “There are rules against students and faculty having sex. You ignorant little whore!”

“That means...” I sighed realizing my career as an educator was over. “...I’ll be fired.”

“Most certainly.” Kinkle grinned, looking like Colonel Sanders holding a flopping chicken by the neck in one hand and a butcher knife in the other.

I swallowed hard. “Please, Professor Kinky.” I didn’t know if I should plead, or make him bleed.

“My name is Kinkle!”

“But you surely know the kids call you Professor Kinky.”

“I don’t care, Lammy Baby.” Men always called me that when they want sex.

“That’s Miss Lamb to you.” I snorted like a bull as I spoke. “Not Lammy Baby.”

“It’s ‘Lammy Baby’ if you want to keep your job.” His grin grew wider. “If you know what I mean.”

His countenance signified that he was imagining me naked.

“You’ve been following me, just waiting for this chance, haven’t you!” That, by no means, was meant as a question.

“Well, you might say so.” He reached out and squeezed my breast. “But if...” He nodded at the car.

I slapped his hand away and tried to make the meanest sneer I could muster. I looked at the car, then at him.

I turned and slid in the front seat, reaching for my purse, but the gun wasn’t there. I felt around, but it was not on the floor. Jason had it.

“The back seat. Get in the back seat!” He shouted the order at me.

I turned the ignition, backed up a little, turned the wheels toward him then gave it the gas. The car lunged toward him like a hungry lion. He jumped. When I glanced back, I saw him fall to the ground, but I just floored it.

I sped home.

06 --- Fess Up

2011-03-01T02:50:00.000-01:00

“Guess I’d better fess up, Miz Lamb.”

I adjusted the rear mirror to see Jason's dirty looking face when flashes or quick patches of light flickered in from street lights as we sped through the night.

“Fess up?”

“You know, confess.”

“Confess to what, Jason? Concentu... consend...” There it was again; some words I just cannot pronounce, like ‘consensual’. So I said, “Willing sex of both partners is not a crime. She was willing, wasn’t she.”

“Oh, eager. That sure was one eager beaver! It sort of shocked me for a minute because I really thought Michelle was Mikie. Boy, what a girl!”

“So, you’re not really gay?”

“Well, I’m sure happy and delighted! Thank you Miz Lamb for hooking us up.”

“Just doing my job as a sex teacher.” I glanced at his face again when we stopped for a red light.

“How’d you get so dirty and scratched up? You guys do it on the ground at lover’s cove?”

“We rolled in the cove!”

I drove on, heading toward his dorm to drop him off. We grew silent for a while and I watched him in the mirror. That look which Professor Kinkle and Hunky Dory had when they stared at my body was now on Jason’s dirty face. I glanced down to see a bulge in his pants. He was 20 and I was 26. Not too bad, even if he was my student. He must have been as horny as I was after my unsatisfying experience with Hunky.

“The dorm is back that way. You passed it, Miz Lamb.”

I turned into the park and pulled over where the car would be concealed by bushes and trees. After turning off my lights, another car slowly drove past and it also pulled over and shut off its lights. I thought how Lovers Lane was a busy place.

“You really want me, Jason?”

“Oh, yes Miz Lamb!”

I slipped off my blouse. “But doesn’t Michelle satisfy you?”

“But you...” He gasped as I unhooked my bra. “You are so fine, Miz Lamb. Michelle looks so boyish. You... You...”

He reached to hug me and cried out as if in pain.

“What is wrong, Jason?”

“My arm. Oh! I hurt it.”

“How did you hurt your arm, Jason?”

He kept trying to kiss and grope me, but I pushed him back, asking again, “How did you hurt your arm, Jason?”

“I fell.”

“Out of a tree?”

He sat up straight, looking like he was about to cry. “I was going to confess.”

“Well, Fess up! Was that you peeking in my bathroom window?”

“Yes.”

I suppose Hunky was wrong. He said the peeper would run from me whenever he saw me from now on, but this youth had fortitude. Or a death wish.

There was a long silence as we stared at each other, then I laughed and grabbed him around the neck and began kissing passionately.

“That was sure a great dance you did, Miz Lamb.” Then there was silence except for our heavy breathing and kissing. And what sounded like footfalls and rustling of bushes. I reached down, feeling for my purse on the floorboard and reaching inside for the gun.

“Miss Lamb!” An old deep voice pierced the silence and I saw Professor Kinkle’s face in the passenger side window. I quickly jerked up my gun, but Jason grabbed the gun from my hand or I would have shot.

5 --- A Hunk-a Hunk-a Love

2011-02-28T01:26:00.001-01:00

Hunky and I quickly shed our clothes and dove atop the covers of the bed in the motel, kissing passionately with all the groaning and moaning that goes with it. Pausing for just a moment for a breath, I stared at his handsome face. A strange cold chill came over me when I focused on the look in his eyes. I leaned my head on the pillow and lay on my back as he propped himself on his side with his arm, staring at my naked body.

There was something about that lustful visage. Oh, I wanted him, but the nuances of that expression reminded me of something. The look in the eyes, the breathing, the mouth were exactly like those of Colonel Sanders, I mean Professor Kinkle as he stared at my fully dressed body when I sat next to him at the faculty meeting this morning. Hunky was actually looking at my nude body with the same facial expressions as Kinkle had when he was gawking at me fully dressed. Was the professor imagining me naked? It felt eerie to think of a 26-year-old woman making love with an old greasy Colonel Sanders looking man.

“What is wrong, Patty? My little Lamb. Lammy?”

How could I explain it to him? I took his police cap which he liked to wear when he made love and put it on my head, saying, “I had a strange experi, experi...” I paused because I have such a problem forming words like ‘experience’ when I get excited or nervous, but I continued using different words, “A strange thing happen to me a while ago.”

“Do you want this, too?” He removed his empty holster from his waist and proceeded to put it around my waist but fumbled buckling it while staring at my fuzzy pubic hair and beyond.

“While I was taking a shower, a man was in the tree outside peering at me through the window.”

“A man?”

“I got my gun and shot into the tree and he ran off.”

“Where was your husband?”

“I divorced him! Oh, I guess that was after our other affair.”

“Don’t worry. The tree guy won’t bother you after you gave him that attitude adjustment. Whenever he sees you from now on, he’ll run the other direction. Peepers are like that.” He laughed and began fondling my breasts. I laughed and went back to the passionate kissing, hoping he wasn’t considering pinning his badge on me.

He was really groaning loudly when I looked down to see that he had stuck his penis in the holster. I reached down to correct the situation, but he had already shot.

“That was the best sex I ever had!” He said as he rolled over and fell asleep. I jumped off the bed and removed the slimy holster then ran for the shower. After I dressed, I quickly left the motel room and slammed the door of my car, gunning the motor.

“Miz Lamb!” I heard a voice as Jason slowly came out of the darkness. “I did it! Me and Mikie did it!”

“Get in and tell me all about it.” I sped down the road as the young man tangled himself in the seat belt.

4 --- Peek-A-Boo

2011-02-27T01:00:00.000-01:00

As I showered, I got a creepy feeling. Was I being watched somehow? I looked up at the window noticing the bottom portion was opaque while the top was clear. Yet outside was a tree obscuring the view. Besides, they would have to be high up to peer down through the top portion of the window and see anything inside.

I felt more relaxed after such reasoning and began doing a stripper dance with a towel. I watched the reflection of my shapely, feminine, naked body wiggle and grind on the upper pane. I felt excited and naughtily stimulated thinking of my date tonight with Hunky. I licked my lips, but my silly grin faded when I noticed that some branches behind my reflection were shaking while others were still. I quickly stopped my foolishness and wrapped the towel around me trying to figure if a small animal could do that. Or was it a man? I cautiously and slowly stepped backward from the window to the bathroom door.

I turned and rushed into my bedroom and pulled a gun from my bedside table. My sister-in-law, Xin, followed me as I entered the bathroom and began firing shots through the glass into the tree outside. Glass shattered and the limbs shook as if in a storm. There was a frightened scream and a thud. I raised the bottom portion of the window and peered into the darkness at a dark figure running away.

Xin was holding Lambkin tightly as they watched my fury. After calming down, I went into my bedroom and quickly dressed.

“Where are you going, mommy”

“I have a date with a cop.” I said as I stuffed the gun into my purse and pulled out my keys.

“Did you hit him?” Xin asked.

“I’m not sure. I think he just fell or jumped out of the tree. But he was holding his arm as he ran away.”

“You winged him, mommy?”

Xin, a forensic investigator, explained, “If he was hit by a bullet, he wouldn’t have gotten up so fast. Probably just sprang his arm or shoulder when he fell.”

“Got your weapon?” I asked Xin.

“Yes. Of course. Besides, Paul will be home soon.” Xin referred to her husband, my brother. “Why don’t you wait and let him escort you to your date to be on the safe side?”

I shook my head saying, “You guys just take care of Lambkin. Make sure she is safe. I’ll be okay.” I patted my purse.

“Be careful, mommy.” Lambkin said as we hugged and I kissed her.

“You stay close to your Aunt Xin, baby.” I told Lambkin as I left the house to the car.

3 --- My Dream

2011-02-26T07:48:00.001-01:00

I sat on a bench hidden away by trees trying to read an ebook, but the letters kept blurring. I fiddled with buttons on the tablet-like device, and even slapped its side. Then I realized it was my own eyes when I glanced around. A pair of young lovers strolled by, their feet stirring the leaves sounding similar to the leaf whirlwinds.

I felt very drowzy so I stretched out on the bench with the book reader snuggled in my arms.

Stars swirled around me as I danced in space. A figure of a man was nearby. Then only his face. The face of Colonel Sanders, the fried chicken guy, took up all my vision. Why Sanders? Or was it the Architect guy in the movie The Matrix. They do look similar. My six-year-old daughter was watching cartoons. Her name was Wendy, but I called her Lambkin because my nickname was Lammy after my last name of Lamb. She laughed and almost fell off the coffee table she sat on. Then Colonel Sanders face took up my spectrum of vision and I realized how he looked like Professor Kinkle. He spoke a lot of really big fancy sounding words that I would have had to look up if I had been awake. The voice made me realize he actually was Professor Kinkle staring at my naked body! But something kept me from awakening. There was the shadowy figure of a girl holding an ax high ready to chop off my sleeping head! That made me even more anxious, wanting to wake up. But the face of Albert Einstein smiled amicably as he held Salvador Dali's melting clock. "Time is different on the contour of space," he said. Lambkin stood up having a ghostly aura of a teenager around her. Professor Kinkle laughed and tried to kiss me and when I tried to pull away, the shadow girl swung the ax into my neck.

I sat up on the park bench with a jerk causing the ebook tablet to fall to the ground and a leaf of paper glided down on top of it. What was that sheet of paper? It was a note. I slowly lifted it and read, "Mikie and I came by, but you were napping. See you in class. Jason."

There were more sounds of rustling leaves so I turned and thought I saw a figure darting back behind a tree. Only the foot and arm, but I was sure it was a person and not just the wind blowing leaves and branches. I scurried like the squirrel I frightened, from the secluded alcove where students often made love.

I paused by the park's drinking fountain, splashing the cold water on my face, wondering if Jason and Mikie had gone to that spot to make love, and my being there had frustrated their plan. I was eager to learn of the outcome of their romantic encounter. Darn!

Realizing I was supposed to pick up Lambkin from the school, I ran the two blocks like a sprinter. I gasped for breath in the school office telling them I was Patty Lamb, Wendy's mother. They directed me to the room marked Counseling, making me wonder why first grade children needed counseling. I learned it was primarily for testing and evaluating the children individually. I quivered as the psychologist said, "Wendy has the body of a six-year-old child, but the mind of a teenager."

As we walked home, Lambkin peered up at me asking, "Why are you shaking, mommy?"

"Mommy just had a bad dream. Don't worry about it, baby."

"You don't have to condescend, mommy. I understand. I have dreams, too. And I talk to Uncle Albert."

2 -- Hooking Them Up

2011-02-25T14:22:00.002-01:00

It was nice having my class and meetings in the morning. That left my afternoons free. What a nice teaching job! And talking about sex with a bunch of horny college students was rather interesting. Not all of them were like Jason. He was one just mixed up Freshman, and I suspected that he didn't really know for sure if he was gay or not. Sometimes boys think they are gay just because they don't know how to hook up and relate with a girl. Yet maybe he was. This experience with Mikie or Michelle would allow Jason to discover himself and know for sure. I did have small doubts and fears that it might backfire, exacerbating (however you say that word) his situation. But I believed that if he developed a deep friendship with her, believing that she was a he, it would help him to overcome whatever was causing his fear of girls.

As I approached Henry's Diner I first noticed my own reflection on the large window and then I saw the image of Professor Kinkle from across the street behind me. Inside the diner, I could see Jason and Mikie sitting in a booth, but on opposite sides of the table. This is common early in dating when the couple wants to be able to have eye contact in getting to know each other, but it evolves to sitting side by side to be closer. I thought perhaps if I intervene and ask to eat with them, they would move and sit side by side, speeding up the process.

I reached for the door, but quickly stopped when I saw Hunky Dory coming out. He was a cop, and he sure was a hunk-a hunk-a love! I had been out with him a couple years ago. But the whirl-wind romance died off and we eventually grew apart. Like my life formula: get friend, lose friend, get friend, lose friend... on and on.

Hunky Dory apparently remembered me because he looked me up and down saying, "Well, hi there Patty. Where have you been hiding?" He was one horny hunk.

"I'm teaching now." I told him.

"What?"

"Sex education."

"Oh, sure! That is one subject you sure know about." His grin grew wider as did mine. He asked, "Tonight?"

"Dork's motel?"

He winked. "Meet you there." He got in his squad car and sped off.

I watched until he turned a corner, thinking how nice reconnecting with old friends can be. When I glanced across the street, Professor Kinkle was gone.

I approached the booth inside the diner and asked the couple if I could sit with them. They acted befuddled and confused, so I took charge and told Jason to move and sit next to Mikie so I could talk to both of them. My assertiveness forced them together. They both seemed pleased after Jason sat beside Mikie, the girl he thought was a gay boy.

I then slapped the table saying, "Oh, I forgot I have a meeting. I am so sorry to have to leave." They smiled as I went out and crossed the street. Looking back, I saw that they remained sitting side by side. Mission accomplished!

Fall was such a pleasant season to just stroll through the park except for a strange feeling of being followed. I kept glancing back, but saw nothing except the wind rustling some leaves.

1 --- Another Day in my Life

2011-02-24T16:47:00.002-01:00

Too young to write my memoirs, too old to keep a diary. I turned 26 wondering what is around the bend, yet longing to turn back. I reach outward, yet coward back in fear of what might take my hand. The next stranger may become my best friend just as my best friends have become strangers. Perhaps the equation is L = (F - F + F - F + F) to the nth power, L being Life and F being Friends.

With my lecture neatly tucked in my briefcase, I stepped forward to my class. It amazed me, as I stared out at the sea of young students, each magnifying their situation through the light curving glass of now and self. It's magnified because it is happening to them now, not to someone else and not some time in the past or future. This little moment, here and now, is the universe. The spawn of all emotion. The spotlight surrounded by darkness. Actually a blurred enlargement of a small portion of a photograph. They can't see the whole picture for the pixels that form themselves.

As I walked from my class a handsome young man rushed to my side to match my steps. He nervously sputtered my name, Miz Lamb, which he called me.

"I have a, well, a problem."

I thought how they all think they have such an urgent problem, and said, "What kind of problem, Jason?" He was a student who sat in the first row of my sex education class.

"I'm a... ho..."

That planted my feet. "A ho?"

"I mean, homo. You know. Homosexual."

I glanced at him, then continued my walking. "How's that a problem, Jason? Do you presently have a male lover?"

Catching up with my pace he said, "No. I just experimented in the past. But I am in love now and don't know if I should, you know, let him know."

"Who?"

He hesitated as we both stopped to make eye contact. "Well, do I have to tell you?"

"Yes." I said sternly to keep the upper hand.

"Mikie Guile."

I strained to keep from laughing and managed to just smile. "Yes. Make friends and get to know each other. Then it will evolve if it is meant to be."

"But he turns me on so bad. I want to, ah, have sex, you know, really bad. It just kills me when I am near him."

"Does he feel the same?"

"I don't know for sure. But he keeps staring at me a lot, and when I go to talk to him, he stares down at my, uh, pants, you know."

I continued my walk. "Just do what comes naturally, and let me know what happens. Then I might be able to help you."

I turned, leaving the blushing youth standing there shaking his head and looking all around. What a surprise it will be when he finds Mikie is actually Michelle, a girl who cuts her hair and dresses like a guy. I often wondered how she made her breasts so flat. Taping them, perhaps.

At the faculty meeting, I was the youngest. They wanted a person near the students ages who could relate on a personal level for sex education. But I had to have my lectures approved by senior staff before delivering them. They watched me closely. Sometimes I felt they watched me too intimately, being interested more in my body than my mind.

I thought the situation between Jason and Mikie was amusing, but when I spoke of it, they all just stared at me stoically. Not even a smile. Well, Professor Kinkle seemed to be smiling as he sat next to me, but I don't believe he heard a word I said. He wasn't looking at my face.

Going Home

2011-02-20T15:07:00.002-01:00

Surrender

2011-02-13T17:35:00.002-01:00

A Plan

2011-02-07T14:07:00.000-01:00

Words and Thought

2011-02-03T12:39:00.002-01:00

Tomorrow

2011-02-02T09:16:00.000-01:00

2010-12-11T21:18:00.003-01:00

Silence of the Lammy

2010-10-14T06:50:00.000Z

Communication Problems

2010-10-13T05:31:00.000Z

Anime Girl

2010-10-12T09:24:00.000Z

Down By The River

2010-10-10T18:25:00.000Z

What's Happening Now?

2010-10-05T03:41:00.002Z

iClone sacrifices quality with a lower poly count, but it is much faster and less stress on my computer. It took 10 or more hours to make a one minute video with Daz and this program is much simpler and takes fraction of the time. And the effects are very simple while on Daz they are complicated and I couldn't even figure how to do most of them. After all, this is just a hobby to give me some freedom from the stress of taking care of my invalid wife.

2010-09-30T17:47:00.001Z

This is a long boring one. I am trying out a new animation program that I caught on sale.

What's Behind the Green Door?

2010-09-13T20:31:00.000Z

Poltergeist Motel Room 000

2010-09-11T00:46:00.002Z

Filthy Fae goes to Junior's motel room, but he is not there and disturbing things are happening.

The Thrill of Flying

2010-09-09T00:28:00.001Z

Ugly Grace's Rumor Mill

2010-09-01T23:25:00.001Z

Landing on the Panamanian Moon

2010-08-30T20:25:00.002Z

Is this Nessa or Ariel taking pictures?

Lammy Fights Anna Banana

2010-08-20T17:13:00.000Z

Lammy's Revenge

2010-08-15T09:43:00.000Z

The Writer

2010-07-28T09:24:00.000Z

Being Captain Isn't As Much Fun As Nyx Thought

2010-07-25T22:32:00.000Z

Siggy Comes Looking For Xin

2010-07-14T00:54:00.002Z

Xin's Getaway

2010-07-12T00:12:00.001Z

Computer Chat

2010-07-10T02:28:00.002Z

This is post 1000

We Need Xin

2010-07-08T08:43:00.001Z

Brooms Are Made For Flying

2010-07-05T05:26:00.000Z

My Hero Is A Villian

2010-06-26T14:09:00.000Z

Close To Nature and Animals

2010-06-18T05:30:00.000Z

Green Eyes

2010-06-15T01:59:00.001Z

Marriage Problems

2010-06-13T09:45:00.001Z

Dewey's New Transportation

2010-05-29T04:58:00.000Z

Ghost In The Computer

2010-05-01T01:49:00.000Z

The Test

2010-04-19T06:58:00.000Z

Running From Problems

2009-12-01T03:21:00.002-01:00

#840

Cheating

2009-11-30T02:46:00.001-01:00

#839

Love For Jogging

2009-11-29T00:00:00.002-01:00

#838

Meeting Brother Paul

2009-11-28T00:11:00.002-01:00

#837

A New Start

2009-11-27T01:47:00.002-01:00

#836

Too Dark For Insight

2009-11-26T00:27:00.002-01:00

#835

Morpheus' Glasses

2009-11-25T02:06:00.002-01:00

#834

Pyramid of Enlightenment

2009-11-24T01:31:00.002-01:00

#833

Cheating Husband

2009-11-21T03:21:00.002-01:00

Jogger

2009-11-20T01:26:00.001-01:00

Lammy likes to get out and jog when she has troubles on her mind.
.

Good-By, Brother

2009-11-19T01:14:00.004-01:00

Lammy's brother, Paul, leaves.
.

Second Chance

2009-11-18T02:15:00.003-01:00

Sometimes the second chance turns out worse.

Caught

2009-11-17T02:22:00.002-01:00

Peter Piper just happens by and sees his wife Lammy with the guy.

Paul

2009-11-16T03:57:00.003-01:00

Mystic Missy

2009-11-15T03:56:00.002-01:00

Lammy talks with her friend, Mystic Missy.
.

Dream

2009-11-14T00:34:00.002-01:00

Lammy wonders what her dream means.
.

Lammy?

2009-11-13T01:53:00.002-01:00