Fired Again -- Sort of...

It was good getting out of that broken time portal machine! So I headed back to my class, but the teacher was really mad because I had missed so many classes. I tried to explain about going back in history to do my homework, but he just fired me. Well, it was like being fired. And the college kicked me out. That upset me, but what really bothered me was when I tried to go to cheerleader practice and they fired me, too! I felt all upset and depressed again, so I headed back to Ugly Grace's bar. Heck, I could get an education there!

First Day in Class

I went to my first class for the first session and mostly we all introduced each other. The teacher was Beelzebub Bubba. He seemed like a good ole boy who was really friendly and funny. This might be a pretty good class after all. He had a really strange laugh, sort of like the Devil.

Oh, and I made the cheerleading team. They loved the way I would get out and shout EU, like: "Eeeeeewwwwweeee!"

Ersatz Community College

I decided to go take a course, but I chose Ersatz Community College, a little known branch of Very Red U. Minnie Strator smiled with approval when I told her.

The entrance exam was really hard. The first question was "What is your name." Oh, there it is, having to make a decision again. I mean, I am called so many different names, but most are not very nice. I mean like Imus called me Nappy because of the wool on my sheep's head. Then my mom said my name was Patricia but she called me Patty sometimes and then called me Lammy because I slept with that stuffed puppet of Lamb Chop. Now everyone calls me Lammy since Enditall the witch changed my head into a sheep head.

Then they had a silly question about a major. I snickered at that and wrote that I'd rather be a General in hell than a Private in heaven. Minnie Strator said that was a brilliant play on an allegory, and I just said that all the alleys in the Netherworld are gory! Minnie laughed and laughed at that one and that is when I noticed she had a lisp or something that she couldn't talk plain because she said something like I was "punny" or it was a "pun" or something. How did that woman get to be an administrator if she can't pronounce f words. She makes her f sound like p. Like when she was talking to some students interested in sports she kept saying "puck".

I then had to choose a course to take. More decisions! Well, I just closed my eyes and pointed my finger. When I opened my eyes, I was pointing at History. I guess that is okay. I don't know anything about History and hope I don't have to repeat it if I fail.