It Was The Netherworld Hotel

As I ran closer to the building, I saw a crowd outside. I wiped the sweat from my eyes and realized it was actually the Netherworld Hotel! (See Sidebar for links)

A Place To Pee

As I ran through the desert the sweat filled my eyes and I felt kind of dizzy, but worse than that, I had to pee really bad! Then through the blur I beheld a glorious sight: The Ataraxia Foundation! Yes, a place to pee!

Ran To Arizona

I ran into the desert in Arizona. I've been wanting to go there for a long time. But I didn't realize that they had crabs there. I thought they were just in the ocean. But there was a whole lot of crabs there.

Run Lammy Run!

When I get upset, I go out and run and run. I love to run. So that is what I do when I am upset and feeling lonely. Well, it is one of the things I do when I get lonely. Sometimes I like to go to Ugly Grace's bar and grill. But today I just felt like running.

Oxy Moron & Metal Tinkerbell

Oxy Moron came stomping over to the house, arguing with Metal Tinkerbell about her coming over here. I swear that Oxy Moron looks just like someone I have seen before somewhere. Like on the news, maybe. Like he might have something to do with the government. But I think he just looks like some famous person. He looked, talked and acted rather stupid, so it seemed to me. But Tink liked it. She said he must love her in order to get that mad and upset. So she left with him, and I was alone again. It gets so depressing being alone. I have to find something to do to get in a happier mood!

What Happened To Me?

I remember going to my class, and Miss Enditall was the teacher. She is the one who cast a spell on me and gave me a sheep head. I remember being scared and afraid and even frightened. I wanted to run away, yes, I remember wanting to run. But she stuck out her hand like when she cast that first spell on me and I think she casted another spell on me! I think. Maybe she did. Possibly. I'm not really sure. I don't know if she cast a spell on me or if I ran away to Ugly Grace's Bar and Grill and got drunk again. I can't remember. I don't know what happened. But when I woke I saw Metal Tinkerbell crying because she was kicked off of The Flavor of Axe show. I felt so sorry for her. And she looked nice. I mean, she looked as feminine and sexy as Harry Potter. Well, one thing led to another, and we went home together. Us girls just want to have fun, you know.

First Day of Class

Well, I finally went to my first class about the occult at Ersatz Community College, and what a surprise! A real shock! The teacher was Miss Enditall, the witch that put the curse on me and turned my head into a lamb head. She just looked at me and laughed that cackle laugh of hers. I thought she was going to lay an egg! And, by golly, she did lay an egg. I was really nervous and so really scared. Really! I couldn't even concentrate on what she was saying. I just wanted to get out of there. Really. But after a while my fear began to turn to anger. Really. That's when I jumped up and ran toward her, wanting to strangle her. Really. But she just stuck out her hand and chanted like she was putting a spell on me again. Really. Everything went black. I had really passed out. Really. And really had to pee!

Talk To Someone Who Knows

In preparing to take the classes on the occult, I was also assigned to go find someone who knew something about magic and stuff like that, you know what I mean? Well, I went over to Harry Potter's house and interview him. But I just couldn't resist him, like he put a spell on me or something. Well, not exactly. He really didn't have to do any spells or magic to get me in bed. The only problem was that I forgot everything he had told me about the occult. But I enjoyed it anyway.

Preparing For Class

I am really excited about going back to school at Ersatz Community College. The woman said that before I go to my first class, I have to prepare for it and write down as many words that I heard which I don't know the meaning of them. And also write down things I've heard about but really don't understand concerning the occult and magic and religion and mythology and, well, you know, like that. I am so nervous! I've been writing until I think my hand is going to fall off and had to go back to the store and buy a pack of new pens and notebook paper. I didn't realize I didn't know so much. I am afraid that I may not be able to go to class for a year or more at this rate! I'll never get this done: writing down all that stuff I don't know.

Back To College

I went back down to Ersatz Community College and signed up for some classes. I asked them if they had stuff about curses like the witch turning my head into a sheep head and the woman told me they had a lot of fatuous courses about the occult. So I made that my major and got a student loan, which I quickly cashed and headed down to Ugly Grace's bar and grill. I really just wanted a crash curse course, of course, but she said there were prerequisite classes I had to take first. I wonder if prerequisite means telling the future. But she told me there was a whole lot of big fancy vacuous words I had to learn before I would be able to take part in the inane discussions. I am excited now and can't wait to see if I know anyone in my classes.

Is Buzzin the Dad of Lambkin?

Did the giant fly-creature, Buzzin, get Lammy pregnant while he was supposed to be giving her a massage? Did he do more than what he was supposed to do? Come to think of it, Little Lambkin does look like a big maggot.

Is Cuzzin' Ike the Daddy?

Cuzzin' Ike thinks he might be the father of Lambkin, my kid, because of the lap dance I gave him.

Is Santa the Father of Lambkin?

Ho ho ho! Santa thinks he is the father of my baby, Lambkin. But I know better than that. There is no way he could be the father of my baby. The truth is that he comes only once and year, and that is down a chimney!

Debbie Did Lammy

After Debbie-do did Dallas, she did Lammy. She thinks that is how Lammy got pregnant by substance transfer.

Is Alien Guy the Father of Lambkin?

It was an out of this world experience.

Is Dewey Banjer the Father of Lambkin?

Dewey Banjer said he made Lammy squeal like a pig and he thinks he is the daddy of her baby, Lambkin.

Is Smelt The Father of Lambkin?

That silly Smelt thinks he might be Lambkin's daddy, even though he never actually had sex with me, her mother. Those Death Cheese Band guys are really dumb. But as I think of it, maybe he could be since he did have sex with my sister, Lula.