Dog Face Girl's Blog

My cousin, Dog Face Girl, who has the head of a dog because she was cursed by the reincarnation of Ambrose Bierce (as in Waking Ambrose) with a pun, has started her audio blog again. I hid a tape recorder while she and Wolfie of the Death Cheese Band were making love. This is the blog entry where she played the tape.

Wolfie & Dog Face Girl

So far, it seems that Wolfie of the Death Cheese Band and my cousin, The Dog Face Girl are hitting it off very well.

Identical Cousins!

To look at this old picture of my cousin, The Dog Face Girl, and my sister, Lula, you would find it hard to believe that they were even related to each other, much less be Identical Cousins! But the results are in. Ariel's brother did a really quick job of analyzing the DNA this time. And it was a match! Yes, both the Dog Face Girl and Lula have the exact same DNA profile! That means that they are the same person. Well, so it seems they are the same person in different bodies at the same time! But I still want to find the Lula that is my sister. Dog Face Girl just seems different somehow, even if she is the same.

Dogface Girl Meets Wolfie

I fixed up my cousin, The Dogface Girl, with Wolfie from the Death Cheese Band. I figured he'd really go wild over her, since she has divorced The Alien Guy. But Daisy from the Pansi Files seems to be showing interest in him now, so we have to watch that development. But I wanted to go with Dusty Doggy to ivestigate a Barbie-cide. Ariel has some exclusive photos on the victim on her site. Dusty will report his findings on Asinine News after he sniffs the story out.

I Found Axe's Blow Up Doll

The true reason I went to see Axe Man of the group Death Cheese was because I wanted to see the blow up doll that Cheesemeister said was in his closet. I wanted to know if it was Lula. I found the doll on Axe's bed! It wasn't my sister, Lula, but it sure looked like Brittney -- both the singer and the weird-o from the Pansi Files. I think Axe was pretending it was Brittney from the NG4J because there was another poster on the wall of Brittney's tarot card. I had to get out of there and can't talk about it now because I will get sick again.

Brittney Loses Again!

I read about Axe Man locking himself in his room on Cheesemeister's blog, so I ran over to see Axe Man of the Death Cheese Band and find out if I could cheer him up. He was sulking in love over Brittney of the Pansi Files and drooling over a poster of her Tarot Card he had on the wall. I say 'had' on the wall. He has since pulled it off. And I am the reason why. Yes, after just a few minutes with Axe Man, he forgot about Brittney and fell madly in love with me! Axe Man even sang a song for me!

Lula's Dream

I've been thinking about all this doll stuff, like Indie of Indeterminacy turning into a doll and being with my sister Lula who also turned into a doll. And On the Pansi Files, the blog about the dolls, they are talking religion and God cats and stuff like that. So I went back in a copy of my sister's old blog that she had called "Growing Up Lula" and I read that entry about the dream she had where she couldn't tell if it was real or not. I think she was on some drugs pretty bad that night and thought the people who were there were dolls. It was kind of funny where she talked about Jesus is coming.

More Tips And Rumors

Our annonymous tip line has been busy! We got another picture and some rumors that Indie of Indeterminacy's real name is Zuadas and he is Portuguese, not German at all! We see him in this picture as a doll carrying my sister, Lula, who also became a doll! At least that is what the rumors are.

Evening of Magic

I sure do appreciate Cie the Cheesemeister who is the manager of Death Cheese for allowing Soggy to come over and visit me. But he came at the wrong time. I was in the bedroom studying magic with Harry and he was about to show me some magic he could do with his big wand when Soggy showed up as well as Brittney of NG4J. The evening wasn't a total loss because Harry and I began talking about how to do tricks with JavaScript and Brittney and Soggy got bored and they left (or went someplace) together. I think they hit it off together as well as Harry and I did!

Is Lula With Indie?

Our private dicks of the Viagra Detective Agency have risen to the occasion again! They are reporting to me that my sister Lula may have actually turned into a doll and is with Indie of Indeterminacy, who likewise has become a doll. It has been suggested that Plastic Surgery has gone beyond Nip and Tuck and soon it will be the latest craze for people to have body alterations and changes that make them living breathing dolls! But the question still remains. Is this doll really my sister, Lula? Further investigation is necessary.

We Recieved Photos of Lula

In the comments of the previous post we recieved THESE PHOTOS from Germany which shows that my sister may be there, and she has turned into a doll! This is the biggest clue we have gotten so far -- an actual photo with her name on it! This is a very interesting development and we will have to investigate further. I'm just too shocked to write anything now. This is really fabulous news! I am thrilled!

Mrs. Weirsdo Gave Us A Clue!

Mrs. Weirsdo gave us a great clue! She said that Lula had made a comment on her blog, The Pansi Files. Weirsdo suggested that we check out her ISP number and find out where she was when she came online. So we did just that!

The number came back as 000.00.0001, which, when we checked it out, was actually the very first Social Security Number ever issued. Luckily the guy was still alive, but very, very old. We looked up his phone number which was (000) 000-0001 -- the very first telephone number to be given out in the USA, which in fact turned out to be a Dixie Cup hooked to a string.

We asked him if a young red haired girl had come by to use his computer and he said YES! But further investigation revealed it was not Lula, but a doll. Yes. The facts indicated that it was Lobsteria who was just wanting to play a trick on Mrs. Weirsdo.

DNA Tests Are In

I want to thank Indie of Indeterminacy for his fine clues. Our private dicks from the Viagra Detective Agency are checking all that out carefully as well as scanning Arkansas as per Jamie Dawn's clue. More on the results of those clues should reach me in a few days. But the big news now concerns the DNA testing of Sar's shoe.

Ariel's smarter brother has sent us the results of his DNA tests. It seems mitochondria carbon dating of hairs on the shoe is consistent with that of hairs from the Shawl of Tears that Mary Magdalene was wearing when she washed Jesus' feet with her tears and hair. 95% of the Psychometry DNA markers (sometimes called akasha packets which are embedded on kundalini energy like radio waves) indicate that Sar's shoes and the Holy Shawl were both at the event at the same time. This pretty well proves that Mary Magdalene is a metaphoric archetype for Sar! But the question remains: What does this fact have to do with Gabriel Zolman's trip to New Orleans? And how does this tie in to the disappearance of my sister, Lula? Perhaps another clandestine meeting with Deep Thought near the Watergate Hotel will shed light on the mystery, as well as futher investigation into the recent hints presented by Indie of Indeterminacy and Jamie Dawn.

The plot thickens!

My Mad Meme

I worked on my mad meme. That's what I call it because it is like a mad lib but asks personal questions then puts the answers in a paragraph that is supposed to sound funny. But it sure is hard to figure out how to ask the right questions to get the words to make sense. And that HTML and JavaScript is like learning a whole new language. Makes my head spin more than when I study my witchcraft and magick. Maybe I will get better at making the mad meme after I get the hang of doing it. The link to it is on the sidebar.

Just Meditating

I am just relaxing this weekend. Meditating and praying about what I should do with my life and also this blog. Jamie Dawn gave me a clue about where my sister, Lula might be. Jamie has a terrific blog. It seems warm and fuzzy even thought it is really really funny. She seems to have such a great family, you know, great relationship with her kids as well as with her husband. That sounds great to me. Her blog is a lot better than my awful thing here. Jamie's blog is like "Laughter Is The Best Medicine" section of Reader's Digest.

Jamie's clue about where my sister might be was that she might be in Arkansas where Jamie lived, or was living. She's moving again, you know. So I just want to thank her for that clue and we'll have to investigate that real soon. I'll use some prana-technology and hook a malfeasance barometer that can scan for high density areas of kundalini.

Now prana is the type of rays that come from Heaven and is sometimes called Holy Spirit. We are talking energy forces here, like heat rays, light waves or sound and like that. Religious people call the energy sent from Heaven Holy Spirit. Some say Holy Ghost because a ghost is an enery apparition that strikes suddenly and unexpectantly like lightning. These energy rays carry signals like radio waves or blue tooth or wifi for the computer. The signals can be short pacets with messages, information, inspiration, and often emotional triggers. Now the energy that comes up out of the ground from Hell (speaking metaphorically, perhaps) is kundalini waves which are very similar to prana or Holy Spirit Energy except it is usually bad and has a lot of carnal instincts like lust and sex and greed. The kundalini enery seeps up your legs and up your spine to your brain and the rays carry those signals like radio waves but they are bad signals. Or at least we consider basic animal-like instincts are bad because we are supposed to be civilized humans and above the animals. So we will fly over Arkansas and scan for dense pockets of kundalini where there is a lot of sinning stuff going on because my sister Lula was quite a sinner and would be drawn to those areas as opposed to areas with high concentration of prana energy from Heaven that carries good signals and neutralized kundalini's negative signals.

I just wanted to thank Jamie Dawn for her clue as to where Lula might be.

I Got Saved!

I got the scare of my life. I rode my broomstick back to see Harry and while we were cuddling together, there was suddenly a puff of smoke! Then a woman appeared who said they call her Little Bar of Soap. She said I was full of filth and was becoming really bad like my sister Lula! It was really scary. That was the first time I ever saw anyone who was talking religion do magick! She said she was an angel now. I wanted to ask her about my sister, but she just kept preaching and said I had better get my soul washed and scrubbed with lots of soap and flush out all that filth! Harry couldn't even shut her up. I began to cry and he got pissed, I mean disgusted at me and he left. I was so confused and sad and lonely after the angel woman called Soapy left. Before she left, though, she instructed me to go read AP3's religious blog! So that is what I am going to do. I am so sorry I was dirty, or as that Soapy woman said, "Filth!"

Harry's Big Wand

While we were flying around on our broomsticks, we swooped down to visit with Harry Potter. I was thrilled to meet him! What a wiz he is! And I think he really liked me because he let me play with his wand. It was a lot bigger and longer than I thought it would be! But Brittney of the Pansi Files really got perturbed because Harry wouldn't pay any attention to her except to say that she looked silly like a clown and should wash her face. He just kept talking to me about the difference between magic and magick, and said he would someday like to show me what he could really do with that big wand! I thought he was just adorable! Britteny is still pouting and now she is really jealous of me!

Cruising Reykjavik

I had gone to a secret hide-away with my guru, Brittney from the Pansi Files. There we did a ceremony and studied some black magick and witches stuff. Then we got on our brooms and headed to an island near the top of the world to find the Ice Queen. We scooped down over the city of Reykjavik looking for her, but she had gone on a trip of her own and wasn't there. I was hoping she could help shed some light as to where my sister, Lula was. We think she might have stopped over there on her way to Germany to connect with her dream guy, Indie of Indeterminacy. It sure was a beautiful place, and I hope I can fly back up there someday when Minka the Ice Queen is there.

I Made It Back

Wow. It feels strange being back here and trying to think of a post for this blog. You know how it feels when you've been gone and then come home and there's that strange feeling that is hard to explain. I was really shocked when I read that post on The Pansi Files about my sister having twins! I'll have to go over there and check that out. I am still in shock with that bit of news! I'll have to go see them. And I'll also have to check with Ariel's smarter brother to see if he ever got that DNA analyzed. My mind is still whizzing from that trip and I thought I wasn't going to make it back. But I will have to write more about that later when I have more time. I'm awfully tired now. So see you all later!

Have A Nice Weekend

I have to go away for a few days and won't be posting for a while, but I'm sure you get tired of seeing me stick out my tongue. While I'm gone you can visit Indeterminacy and read Story #297. That's my favorite because it is about my sister, Lula. I still think she might be over there with him, though he dennies it. And while you are there you can check out some of those other wonderful stories he has written. He has completed his mission to write 360 stories, but like I say, I love #297!

Lizard Tongue

Okay. I can do just like the Iguana! Oh, this may seem quite silly, but actually I am trying to learn how to make these moving pictures to put on blogs, and this is just a fun way to learn. That's why I posted that picture yesterday of the Iguana because I wanted to try and make one like that using a web cam and the gif maker program that we downloaded for free. It's fun to try new things and learn how to do new stuff and try to be original. Like that. So it may look silly, but at least I tried and learned something new today. Try something dif, you might like it!

What A Tongue!

I found this link button on the computer and blew it up larger. It was on Lula's old blog for Lazy Iguana. Just take a gander at that wicked tongue! I bet after watching that for a while, Lula took off to go to Florida and find him! That's wilder than KISS! I bet he could lick his eyebrows!

Too Much Violence

I want to be a lover, not a fighter!

Jack Bauer Kicks Fox Mulder's Ass

Go Jack! Go!

Mulder Lost His Ethics

Unfortunantly, it appears that Fox Mulder's morals and ethics have been influenced and he is not revealing what he has discovered concerning the disappearance of Lula.

It just seems so hard to find good help nowdays. Or you never know who you can really trust and depend on. Maybe the red hair made him think of Scully. Or was this an alien who created an illusion and played some mind games with him. You know what they say a man thinks with!