Enditall Casts a Spell On Me

It seems that Enditall really was harboring bad feelings about Dog Face Girl taking Wolfie away from her. She blamed me for getting Wolfie of Death Cheese and Dog Face Girl together in the first place, then she believes that Dog Face Girl caused him to turn gay by messing with his genes. So Enditall began casting a spell on me as a revenge for my getting Dog Face Girl and Wolfie together. I feel really strange. What kind of spell is she putting on me? What will happen to me?

Dog Face Girl Taken To Blochalela Foundation -- Again

Icy watched anxiously as they treated and loaded her mother, the Dog Face Girl, into the ambulance and ice cream truck from the Blochalela Foundation to take her for treatment of head injuries from her high dive in a low well as mentioned in the previous post. This will be Dog Face Girl's second visit for treatment at the famous institute, her first being when she was pregnant after marrying the Alien Guy. But according to rumors and records, that have since been scratched and torn up by Kathryn, the records have all been destroyed during her daring break-in, the Dog Face Girl had twins. It has also been determined by Ariel's Brother that Dog Face Girl and Lula have the identical DNA and may be the same person. Could it be? Could Dog Face Girl be my sister, Lula? We may learn the truth while she is in the Blochalela Foundation for treatment. But they sure don't like her there because she once had an affair with Mr. Banana. The drama continues.

Smelte The Stalker

Dog Face Girl removed her shorts and was getting a tan in her thong when she suddenly realized that Smelte of the Death Cheese was stalking her and staring from behind the garbage cans; that is why they didn't notice his foul odor. Dog Face Girl then ran and dove into the well, but really it wasn't a well at all, but just a barrel that caught rain water from the roof of the garage with bricks stacked around it to look like a well. Her daughter, Icy the white dog, then became vicious and snarled and barked, running after Smelte and chasing him away. Dog Face Girl got a head concussion from hitting the bottom of the shallow barrel and developed amnesia.

Dog Face Girl in Backyard

The Dog Face Girl will not talk to anyone. She just lays in the backyard with her daughter, Icy, all day. She says she is still not over Wolfie breaking up with her. She just wants to be alone for a while and do some thinking. She said she had a wonderful wirlwind affair with Dusty Doggy when he was young and when she got pregnant with Icy, but they never married.

Smelte Came By My House

I had already gone to bed when I heard the yelling outside. It was Smelte, one of the Lukefiskies of the Death Cheese Band. He told me about how he had proposed to Dog Face Girl, but I didn't let on like I already knew about it because I didn't want to tell him where Dog Face Girl was. She told me that she wanted to be alone to think about the situation for a while, so I told Smelte that I didn't know where she was, even though she was right there listening to every word we said from inside the house. Smelte went on and on how he loved her, and finally he left. Then I went back into the house and Dog Face Girl and I had a long laugh about the way he was acting like a love sick teenager!

Cheesemeister's New House

I walked over to see the new home that the Cheesemeister moved into. It looked nice until I got up close and heard that there was a party going on inside and the Death Cheese were playing their music. They were really trashing the place and even the outside walls cracked! I had considered maybe getting back with Axe Man, but after seeing that, I got scared again and changed my mind about visiting them.

Enditall and Friends

In the park, I saw Enditall with John Edward and the Devil's sister, Devilla Satanya and they were being visited by the Mummy of Mona Lisa who claimed to have the code that reveals how Death Cheese won the Vogon Idol Contest.

Alien Guy and Wolfie Together

My cousin, The Dog Face Girl, who has the identical DNA as my sister, Lula, used to be married to the Alien Guy. He became gay after the divorce. Dog Face then was going with Wolfie of the Death Cheese and they planned to get married, but things have really changed. She told me that she saw Wolfie and the Gay Alien Guy at Ugly Grace's, and they were acting "very friendly." More friendly than just buddies. We all are believing that Wolfie has turned gay and is now going with the Alien Guy! Will they get married?

Must Have Been A Dream

I had a dream. At least I think it was a dream. It seemed so real, though. Mr. Banana came to me and told me he was going to give me my job back in the movies, but when I went to work, I wasn't the star, but a ticket seller. And Mr. Banana didn't look the same as he does in the Pansi Files. This time, he looked like a real banana. That is why I think it was a dream. Do you have strange dreams like that?

Playing With The Clouds

After spending all afternoon with the Sandwich Head Man in his garden, I really began to feel a buzz. Then I met a new friend who stopped by to say hi. She was a little fairy called Free2Be. She loves clouds and especially storms, so while I was feeling the buzz, we flew up and played around in the clouds. Icy and the Flying Nun came by and joined us. It was really nice.

I Fell In Love

I was sleepy after sitting up talking with my cousin, Dog Face Girl, last night, but I wanted to go over to Hashish Henry's house (the Sandwich Head Man) to see if he was mad at me because I didn't meet him when he got off work. I was afraid he thought I had stood him up. I got all dressed and prissied up and when I got over to his place, I found him in his backyard working in his garden, and for some strange reason, I fell madly in love with that guy right there! And we made love right there. His delicious kisses helped to curb my cravings for munchies. This was really a great day!

Having A Friend To Talk With

Have you ever sat up all night just talking and crying and laughing with your best friend? That's what I did with Dog Face Girl. It was great. She told me that Wolfie of the Death Cheese broke up with her for some reason and she can't figure it out to save her life. Maybe it's Enditall causing problems or putting some kind of curse or spell on the relationship. Enditall acted like she didn't care that Wolfie left her and was going with Dog Face Girl, but I guess the talk about marriage was just too much for her.

And I cried and told Dog Face that I was supposed to meet Hashish Henry who works at the 7-11 when he got off, but I was late and he left. Dog Face said that she heard that he went home to work on his car and will have to take it to the shop because there are strange noises coming out of the radio. I bet it was just a Death Cheese song being played. Men seem to be more worried about their cars than girlfriends.

Then Dog Face Girl started crying about the Gay Alien Guy and how she missed him since the divorce. And I cried about not being able to find my sister, Lula. But then we started talking about Henry and his car and began laughing. After that, everything was funny and we laughed at the strangeness of Cheesemeister's home. Then we laughed about Brittney and the Pansi Files.

It was really nice having someone to sit up with and talk to all night long. It was like having Lula back home with me.

Cheesemeister wrote a poem HERE

Dog Face Girl reads the poem HERE

Billy the Kid

I finally got to the 7-11 store, but Hashish Henry was gone. He had got off work and thought I stood him up, so he left. But there was this guy there and I thought it was Kid Rock, but it turned out to be the real Billy the Kid wearing red parachute pants and yellow boots. Billy was a real smart ass and gave me a hard time. I had my Lambchop puppet with me, but in the hole where you put your hand, I had a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 wine hidden. That's the puppet I slept with as a kid and that is why they call me Lammy. I still do, but I keep the wine in it now in case I wake up in the middle of the night. I swear, I think that Billy the Kid is stalking me. He followed me home.

I Was Replaced and They Didn't Even Tell Me!

This is worse than those dreams when you go to work and find someone else doing your job and find you've been replaced and no one bothered to inform you about it. Yes, that is what happened. As I was walking over to the 7-11 to meet Hashish Henry, I saw that they had resumed shooting our movie, "Plan 9 From the Netherworld." But they now had Enditall as the star! That really hurt. And they also got the Fonz, Henry Winkler, to take Cheesemeister's place as director. I bet they didn't tell her either! It really hurt my feelings to find I have been fired and not even told about it. And I saw Minnie Strator of the Pansi Files flying on her broom stick and laughing. I bet she was laughing at me! To beat it all, they have changed the name of the movie to, "Plan Fun From the Featherworld." I cried all the way to the 7-11 convenient store.

Jimi and Axe Man

I was really feeling a buzz after drinking that MD 20/20 and then drinking at Ugly Grace's. As I was walking, I passed that strange house again. This time I saw Jimi Hendrix and the Axe Man of Death Cheese discussing music or something. But I didn't hang around to find out because it was time for Hashish Henry to get off from work at the 7-11. I didn't want him to think I was standing him up. But, hell. I could hardly stand up at all.

Waiting For My Ya Ya

While I was waiting for that guy, Henry from the 7-11 store to get off from work, I went over to Ugly Grace's and sat with my Uncle Tom and his white dog, Icy, for a while. While I sat there, Icy kept playing some old song on the juke box called "Sitting on my La La Waiting for my Ya Ya." It must have been political night at Grace's because Tom was sitting with Hillary and George W. came in and seemed to joke around with them. I don't remember very much of what went on there. I finally just left and headed back toward the convenient store to see if Hashish Henry was about to get off. He seems like a nice guy and he looks delicious. His kisses sure help the munchies after smoking a joint. I was wondering if he knew my sister, Lula. She had worked at that same store.

The Clerk At The 7-11

Getting saved at the Brittney of Pansi Files church was really exciting and the communion by Dr. Doo Doo was like a high. Or maybe it was. But the problem with those religious experiences is that they wear off so quickly. So I headed down to the local 7-11 convenient store where my sister, Lula, used to work to fetch up a bottle of MD 20/20 to hold me over for a while. I use my sister's ID because we do look very much alike with the red hair and all. But I got a shock when I entered the store.

The guy working behind the counter was none other than that sandwich head guy that I had a date with. He knows that the ID is not really mine. So I strolled around and chatted with him for quite a while. I could tell he was still interested by that smirk on his rye bread face. Or was it banana bread? I do remember that delicious kiss he gave me on the last date!

He was pretty easy to work, and by the time I left, he had not only let me get the wine, but he paid for it. He said he might see me later on in the evening when he got off. I think he said his name was Henry, or something like that.

I Got Saved Again!

After that woman, Minnie Strator, ordered a stop to the filming of the flick I was working on, I realized just how filthy it was. That Holle is really a bad influence on everyone and causes a lot of embarrassment and trouble. She the grandniece of Wolfie of the Death Cheese. My cousin, Dog Face Girl, is going to marry Wolfie, but she had better think seriously about what kind of screwed up family she is getting into.

I got upset and began to cry and everyone thought it was because they halted the production of the stupid flick, but it wasn't that. It was because I felt so dirty after Holle kept hugging all over me and flashing like that for everyone to see her body. Besides, Holle got the Wannabes of the Death Cheese all excited and they couldn't even play bad music for the background as I walked down the dark street in the scene of the movie.

I ran over to the new church and made a confession to Brittney of the Pansi Files and begged Her to forgive me. She blessed me. Then Dr. Doo Doo came in and gave me Holy Communion by putting something on my tongue. It sure did calm me down and made me really feel the spirit! Holy holy holy! I really shouted and rolled and got saved again!

For more details, check out Asinine News.

Shooting Begins for our Movie

Actually it was just testing out our equipment and getting some preliminary shots for our movie, Plan 9 From The NetherWorld. It was a night shot, and I was supposed to be walking down the street as Death Cheese played spooky music. But then, Wolfie's grandniece, Holle, had to walk across in the background and then flash. This is supposed to be just a simple horror flick, but Holle wants it to be dirty. I don't know what gets into that girl's head sometimes. This is what we, in the biz, call a daily. It's just a scene of what we shot the day before.

Screen Test

I was thrilled when so many famous film directors showed up for my screen test. Even Ed Wood came back from the dead to evaluate my acting. But that Quentin Tarantino kept hanging around my feet. He kept saying he wanted to see how a close up would look of them, but it tickled when he licked them. David Lynch sort of scared me a little because I really didn't understand what he was wanting me to do, like his movies of Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive. Spielberg said I seemed to show a lot of sadness and emotion as a cheerleader zombie. And Bela's bat spirit was whizzing around and seemed to enjoy my performance.

I've Been Saved -- Again

I was at the very bottom and going down! Then I beheld a miraculous image of Saint Bar of Soap -- again. Yes! This was the second time the angel of Soapy appeared to me! The first time was when I was cavorting with Harry. She seems to want to be my guardian angel, or a ghost to haunt and torment me. Either way, it has caused me to decide to go to the Blochalela Foundation of the Pansi Files for treatment. I'm beginning to believe that the Death Cheese has warped my mind!

Little Bar of Soap is a fictional character created by AP3.

You'll Never Believe It!

This is strange! I mean, wow! I was walking home, or maybe staggering a little, or maybe staggering a whole lot, but anyway, I looked in the window of some house and guess what I saw! I don't usually make it a habbit of peeping in other people's windows, but I just couldn't help it this time. There was Elvis and the Alien Guy. I just wish I could remember what house that was. Or even remember what neighborhood it was.

Dog Face Girl recites Cheesemeister's poem at this link HERE

Great Date

I met a guy who took me to the restaurant across the street from Ugly Grace's. I just know him as Sam, but I will never forget his face! He made me so hungry that I could have eaten him up! I must confess, in all modesty, that I did give him a thank-you kiss after the meal. Mmmmm. His kisses taste good. Sort of like mayonnaise. A bit sloppy. But what a delicious kiss it was. I hope I see him around again sometime.

The Drama Continues

Reporters Lyanne Sakks and Dusty Doggy observe the unfolding drama in the romance of Wolfie of the Death Cheese Band and the Dog Face Girl. In the latest developments, Wolfie has caught Dog Face Girl with a former boyfriend, the Dorky Geek. Dog Face Girl said she was just taking her car in to have it fixed and Wolfie howled that the Dorky Geek was no mechanic! Or is that one of the Lutefiskies?

Checked Out Arkansas

We had recieved a clue from Jamie Dawn earlier that my sister, Lula might be down in Arkansas. Well, we tried to check it out by scanning for her red hair with an infared scanner. It just didn't work. It seems all those rednecks jammed up the infared reciever.

An Explanation

Just to be serious for once, I want to explain about the Dog Face Girl's blog and voices. In this post, the pronunciation by Wolfie was not made on purpose by us to sound like that. We create the voices with a text to speech program. We were using the German reader voice and it just happened that when it read "Dog Face", it pronounced it that way. It read the English as if it were German and that is how it pronounced it.

Good-bye Axe Man

The singer Axe Man of the Death Cheese was really a hunk. But I just found it a tab it difficult to tolerate his bedroom antics. His bedside manners left nothing to be desired, or left a lot to be desired. However you say that? Anyway. I'm outtie! So long Axe Man! It was nice, but time to move on. I don't know where to since Harry won't let me play with his big wand anymore. He got niffed at me. But if I get really desperate, I guess I could make up with Brittney of the Pansi Files. I understand that she goes both ways. That might be an interesting affair. We'll see.

Just Chilling and Reading Doug's Book

I need to relax for a while, so I am just sitting around reading Doug of Waking Ambrose's new book. It is called Sleeping With Ambrose. Dusty wrote a review of it on his Editorial Page. I'm just a little pissed because Mrs. Weirsdo of the Pansi Files beat me out as a finalist in Sar's Photo Caption Contest. I mean, just 'cause she has Phd's and plays the fiddle, doesn't mean she is so smart. Does it? Well, maybe a little smarter than I am. But if I was a genius like her, then I could do that stuff, too. Hey! Even that stupid dog Icy beat me out! She's a finalist, too! Me and Dusty are going to protest!