I Did A Meme

I saw this meme on Seize the Nite, Stuffed Animal Tales, and one of Cheesemeister's blogs.

Here are the rules for the meme:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random [?] people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that he or she has been tagged by posting a comment on his or her blog.

1) I have the head of a sheep or lamb, thus they call me Lammy. Duh!
2) I believe that you really don't know a guy until you have had sex with him. And I really know a lot of guys! Girls too.
3) This one is confusing to me: I'm not sure if I should include it or not. There may be a lot of others just like me, but maybe not. I guess I could go ahead and put it down, but I'm not really sure. Maybe I shouldn't. But then again, maybe I should. I mean, it could be weird, but probably not. So I guess I will write it down here. Yet I am having second thoughts about it. Maybe I shouldn't. But maybe I should. Well, anyway, it's that I have a very hard time making a decision of what to do.
4) I like to drink a lot of wine. But what's weird is that I am not particular about who I drink with because I go to Ugly Grace's bar and grill. What's so weird about that is the people I hang with. They are all very weird. Except for Ugly Grace. She just looks weird because she is so ugly.
5) I like to masticate. But doesn't everyone?
6) I was killed by being burned up by a candle I was playing with, and then I went to hell. I didn't like that place very much and went to court and had my death reversed and rose from the dead. That's when I met Murry Magdalene. He/she was the first to see me when I rose.
7) I had a baby, Lambkin, but I don't know who the real father is. Peter Piper thinks he is the daddy, but he is just dancing to his own tune. Dr. Schitz is doing some DNA testing and the results should be back in a year or so.

Okay. Now if you want to respond, here is a twist. Tell us seven things that are NOT weird or unusual about yourself. Ha ha! Bet you can't do it!

Ruminate

Some people just don't know how to enjoy food like I do.

Turkey Day

I had my Turkey behind Ugly Grace's bar and grill with another turkey, Arsewipe. Buzzin was there checking out the dumpsters and Lyanne Sakks gave the Axolotl a golden shower. I was very thankful that no one saw us!

Henry Won't Give Up On Me

Hashish Henry keeps following me and wanting me to come back to him.

Lammy Sings Backstage

Lammy gave us a private performance backstage at the Netherworld Center for the Arts.

One Hour To Live

I went to Mystic Xenia to see if she could see my future. She just looked at her crystal ball and shook her head, not saying a word. I kept asking what was wrong. Was that thing out of batteries or going on the blink? A tear formed in her eye as she looked off in the distance and just spoke very low. So low I couldn't understand what she was saying, so I kept asking her what she said. She finally got tired of me asking her that, so she yelled out at me that I was going to die in one hour.

An hour! What should I do? Only one hour to live! Maybe, I thought, I should run down to Ugly Grace's and get drunk. But an hour isn't long enough. I'd just begin to feel it when I'd have to stop and go to hell where all the alcohol would be evaporated and I'd have an eternal hangover.

Then I thought I should go out and have some good sex. But an hour wouldn't even be long enough to get through the dinner with all the ruminating and masticating that I like to do. Well, isn't dinner part of foreplay?

Maybe I should do like those old men who invest their money in stocks and such so they will be rich when they die. But an hour isn't long enough to get rich. And what good is all that money after I am dead? Oh, well.

Maybe I should write a novel real quick so I can be remembered post-humorously. Shit! I don't think that is the right word. Sort of like if I paint a cool picture and put strange symbols in it that will make people stare at it and try to figure what it means for hundreds of years after I'm gone, like the Di Vinci code thing.

Or maybe I should write a last post and tell each of my friends how they should change to have a better life. But what do I know? They could just use my life as an example of what 'not' to do.

I was so confused and flustered that I didn't know what to do! Then I looked out the window and saw Mystic Xenia, Sigmund Fraud, Rev. Reptile and Pansi and others all laughing their butts off at me. I asked them what was so funny and they said they were just playing a prank on me to teach me a lesson about life and conduct an experiment to see what I would do if I thought I was going to die.