Lost In The Sewer

While the rat and bugs finished off the Dhole that was trying to get me, Rodney Roach carried me away from harms way by going this way and that way down a maze of passage ways in the sewer. And he carried me all the way, which was the nicest way I ever traveled. I'm not sure how much I weigh, but he was way stronger than any guy, well, almost. Axe Man was really strong, too.

But the roach had to stop several times. I'm not sure if he was tired, or if he lost his way. That maze of sewers was like a labyrinth. Really confusing. Then he stopped and sat me down.

He looked up, so I looked up, too. There was a smaller pipe or tunnel that went straight up like a smoke pipe, but gook stuff was running out of it. He then turned back into a small roach bug like he was before and told me to lift him up to the vertical pipe. He began to scurry up it, saying that he would drop a rope or something to pull me up when he got to the top.

I waited. Then waited more. It was cold, damp, dark and stinky down there where I waited. I got tired of standing there looking up at that hole in the ceiling waiting for a rope to come down. It seemed like the longest time.

Then my excited feeling about being saved by so many friends began to fade and I got bored. I began having doubts about myself again because I began to think that Rodney left and wasn't going to drop a rope to rescue me. A tear ran down my cheek and I had to pee really bad. I looked around for a place to pee, but realized I was in a sewer, so it didn't really matter where I peed.

I just continued to wait to be rescued.

Fight In The Sewer

The Dhole came after us, but to my surprise, Mickey Ratt dropped from the ceiling onto the Dhole's head and began biting while clinging tightly even though the creature shook and slung its head vigorously.

The giant Mantis, which I had met at the bar, came from the shadows and blocked the Dhole's advance while throwing punches like a boxer to its neck and jaw.

Rodney Roach lifted me into his strong arms to carry me to safety.

Buzzin and Buzzoff flew onto the sake-like monster. Buzzin used his sharp claws to scratch the thick hide, making the Dhole scream in pain as opposed to Buzzin's usual use of his many appendages to produce a soothing massage. Buzzoff was attacking the lower stem of the Dhole, causing it to lose its balance and eventually fall under the attack.

I cried and cried from joy as I saw all those guys coming to help me. And I had thought that I didn't have a friend in the world, but there they were! All risking their lives to save me.

Rodney Roach Saves Me

After Rodney Roach untied me, we both fled from that place, Vinnie's hide-out. I was surprised how fast a roach could run, but sure enough, Rodney Roach kept right up with me all the time. He was so sweet, for a nasty bug and all. He kept yelling, "Run, Lammy, run!" and it brought a tear to my eye that he had rescued me and seemed like the only one who cared about me at all.

More tears flowed as I ran and thought that there was not one single person I have known that would help put up a ransom to get me free. And even more tears flowed as I thought about all those guys that I had gone with who rejected me.

And even more tears flowed as I thought of all the jobs I have had, but was fired just because no one liked me. More and more tears flowed as I grew more and more depressed thinking how nobody loves me. It is such a lonely feeling, like I am useless and no good for anything.

Even Enditall the witch had cursed me and I really never understood why, except that she must have hated me a lot. That really hurts to think about and it makes me cry so much that snot runs out of my nose and gets all over my face while I am running.

And I cried even more when I thought about my trial and getting my death reversed. The truth was that the Devil hated me and didn't want me in hell. Now that is really being hated! I really sobbed hard thinking of that one.

I was crying so much that I fell in that open man-hole again and fell into the slimy sewer. At first I thought all that liquefied muck and piss was how much tears I had shed. Then there was another splash.

Rodney Roach had jumped down the man-hole to be with me. How sweet that little fellow is! But then he turned really big like a man and that scared me so much I had to pee, but since I was sitting in sewage, I just let it go as if I was in a swimming pool.

Rodney had turned into Ninja Roach and was protecting me from the Dhole in the sewer. That made me cry to think that there was someone who really cared.

Helpful Roach

When I woke up, I was all tied up. I don't know where I was, but it sure was a nasty place, and Rodney Roach was there. He talked to me, telling me that Vinnie had tied me up and was holding me for ransom. But Rodney said that everyone Vinnie called and demanded money from just laughed and hung up.

That really made me feel sad, I mean, that no one who knew me cared enough to pay a ransom for me. Then I asked Rodney about Flowering Kudzu, and he told me that they took her to Dr. Schitz to have her put back together, but he was really mad and was sending me the bill. That means I will have to get a job for sure!

Then Rodney Roach began chewing on the tape that I was tied with.

Things Get Violent

Flowering Kudzu and I left Ugly Grace's bar and grill and took a short cut to my house between Steak In The Heart Restaurant and Rev. Jimmy Reptile's Church Of The Naked Truth. But suddenly that guy who looked like Al Capone, I think his name is Vinnie Barbarino, jumped out of the shadows with a big ole gun. It was a really big ole gun! The biggest big ole gun I ever saw!

I fell to the ground when I saw that big ole gun. I thought that if I fell down and kicked my feet around and acted like a fish out of water that he might not shoot me. He did shoot Flowering Kudzu, knocking her head right off her shoulders, with that big ole gun!

Dr. Schitz is really going to be pissed off now because he had just put her head on a brand new body for her. But what is worse is that she got blood and gunk all over my favorite dress that I had loaned her. Thinking about how much it would cost to have that dress dry-cleaned made me pass out for real.

I don't remember anything after that until I woke up the next day.

Nice Time At Ugly Grace's

I met the girls at Ugly Grace's and we had a really nice time. I told them about finding out that my baby Lambkin was not a baby at all, but just a cloth puppet of Lamb Chop. The girls all just comforted me and said they all had very similar experiences.

Murry Magdalene said she had the delusion that a crucifix was her baby. And Flowering Kudzu said her first child turned out to be just a carton of cigarettes. She looked real good, by the way, after Dr. Schitz got her all back together again. He even gave Flowering Kudzu a whole new body this time, but warned her to stay away from Axe Man if she wanted to keep it.

Then Jimmy Reptile came in with all that praising the Lord stuff and he introduced us to his new assistant which was a Giant Mantis. Jimmy Reptile said we should be more like him and pray. The Giant Mantis just kept asking us if we have seen Buzzin and Buzzoff lately.

It was a very nice evening and I started back to my house, but then suddenly remembered that I had left that running guy who looked like Al Capone there. I wondered if he was still there.

Realizing The Truth

I went over and had a session with the good doctor to try and iron out the kinks in my psyche. It was a really long session this time and we talked for several hours. Finally he convinced me to see reality! He made me see the truth! He made me face my own delusions.

He made me realize that Lambkin was not my baby!

As a matter of fact, she is not a baby at all!

It is just a cloth puppet of Lamb Chop!

That sure was upsetting, learning the truth. I tossed the puppet down and ran from the room. Of course, I headed over to Ugly Grace's to have some cheap wine to settle down my anxiety.

Lammy's Future

This story has a new form since it has no real beginning and no planned end or resolution and is written on a blog influenced by comments and other blogs. So we shall attempt to consider future destinations, goals, and possibilities of Lammy in her free-flowing, unrestricted story-line.

*Lammy is, or at least was, searching for her lost sister, Lula.
*Lammy is, or was, trying to get rid of the curse by Enditall and get her real head back.
*She needs to settle down and get a job, a steady boyfriend, and a permanent home.
*Lammy needs to realize that Lambkin is actually a puppet of Lamb Chop and not really her and Peter Piper's child.
*She will need to find out if there really was another child born to her at the same time as Anna Nicole Schitz (the implant of Dr. Schitz for which Lammy was a surrogate mother).
*If the Schitz child was the only baby, Lammy will have to accept the fact and move on with her life.
*If there was another child, she will need to find it and find who the father is.
*Lammy will need to find out why she is so dramatically influenced by the actions of other characters by another writer other than her own.

*If a writer and creator of characters in a story is like a god for people, does that suggest that the behavior of people and their problems reflect the maladies of the god that has created them? And does the behavior of characters in a story reflect something about the mind of the writer?

Only the Cheesemeister knows for sure!

The Plot Reviewed

I think the plot line has gotten a little confusing considering there are two different writers involved. Let's take a moment to think about this and see if we can sort things out a little bit.

*Lammy died and went to hell.
*She was pregnant and thought she was pregnant by Grimmy, the Grim Reaper. But it was not his baby.
*She took her case to court and got her death reversed and was restored to life.
*Lammy had the babies (2 of them!)
*One of the babies was Lambkin, fathered by Peter Piper.
*The other baby (Anna Nicole Schitz) was an implant put into her by Dr. Schitz during a routine physical exam before Lammy's death.
*Dr. Schitz kept Anna.
*Peter Piper had Lambkin for a while but dangled it over a ledge.
*Bat Boy rescued Lambkin and reunited her with Lammy.
*Dr. Schitz and Nurse Violent plan to marry, but Anna Nicole Schitz does not want Nurse Violent as a step-mother.
*The Schitz baby shows morbid signs of violence due to the mix of DNA from the good doctor's experimentation.
*Lambkin is more like her mother as witnessed on Lula's blog.

Relax With Baby Lambkin

I now am safe with my baby Lambkin. So I think I will rest for a few days.

Lambkin Is Safe

I was finally reunited with my baby, Lambkin. She was perfectly safe and was playing with Elbot Jr. while Elbot was babysitting. This is a joyous day for me!

Bat Boy Rescues Me

Bat Boy flew down and rescued me from the wrath of Axe Man. The young boy bat told me he would take me to safety where he had my baby Lambkin hidden. It seems that Lyanne Sakks has lived up to her name and is just a Lying Sack!

Axe Man Axed Kudzu

Axe Man rushed out from the Netherworld Hotel and was really upset since he found that Flowering Kudzu and I had slept together. He thought he was going to marry the Kudzu. But he ended the engagement swiftly with a few swings of his ax.

It looks like Dr. Schitz's new assistant, Rubic Cubic, will be busy piecing Kudzu back together and super gluing her.

Looking For Lambkin

I got a call from that sweet little bitch, Lyanne Sakks, and she said that my baby Lambkin was probably with Spooky Guy at the Netherworld Hotel. So I headed over that way to find out. Flowering Kudzu tagged along with me, even though I was hoping she would get lost. She's like some kind of creepy clinging vine that is nice at first, but then you just can't get rid of it.

The Netherworld Hotel was still red from the Valentine's Party, but they say it will return to its normal abnormalcy pretty soon.

Worrying About Lambkin

As I lay on the bed with Flowering Kudzu, we began talking about kids and I began wondering where my baby Lambkin was. Is she with Bat Boy or Peter Piper? I couldn't go to sleep from worrying about her.

At Ugly Grace's Again

I met Oxy Moron at Ugly Grace's after Smelte dumped me. He looked like somebody I had seen, but I couldn't quite place where I saw that face before. He might just look like someone I saw on TV. I liked Mr. Moron a lot and was beginning to enjoy his company until we saw Deep Thought in there with Flowering Kudzu.

Oxy Moron rushed over to Deep Thought and began talking sports and politics with him and they completely ignored Flowering Kudzu and me. So guess what! We gals left together. And we spent the night together. Let those guys do their buddy thing. Flowering Kudzu was the best sex I ever had! Really an improvement over that fish spawning of Smelte or Gary the Axolotl.

Short Romance With Smelte

The party at the Netherworld Hotel was a real rave, but Smelte and I left early so he could show me some of his other friends. He took me down to Davy Jones Locker where he and the Death Cheese had played before.

But when we got there, who do you think we ran into? That cold clammy salamander Gary the Axolotl, and he just couldn't keep his mouth shut about us spending the night together a while back. That was embarrassing for me. Why can't those guys just keep their mouths shut. They think they have to tell everything! It must make them feel virile. But in fact, Gary was a limp shrimp!

That pissed Smelte off and things began to go downhill for our new romance right away.

Then Smelte introduced me to Davy Jones. And he was a real curmudgeon. As a matter of fact, he was the roof contractor that hired and fired me. And he just kept going on what a lazy, no good, goldbricker I was. That was embarrassing to me. And it pissed Smelte off even more. And our romance went from downhill to hitting bottom real fast.

Smelt then took me back to land and dropped me off at Ugly Grace's and told me we were through, done, finished. The romance was over!

It took me a while to get my land legs back, but I lost them after I had several bottles of cheap wine.

This Is Real Love, This Time

It was the best Valentine's Day I have ever had! Smelte took me for a long beautiful scenic drive in his long beautiful limo, and well, I won't talk about what other long beautiful things he had. He invited me to be his special guest at the Death Cheese concert tonight. What a guy. It's true love this time!

And tomorrow is my birthday as well as the Cheesemeister's. I think they are planning a surprise party for her because Smelt asked me to be his date at the Netherworld Hotel for a special bash tomorrow, but he wouldn't go into details.

Smelt Saved Me

I thought for sure I was a goner! That Dhole hissed and came at me like it was going to swallow me whole. But then it backed off. I didn't realize why at first, then I noticed that Smelt of the Death Cheese was right behind me, and he scared the Dhole, for some reason. It was afraid of him and hissed for a minute, then bobbed back down into the sewage.

Smelt said he often comes down in the sewer to think and relax. He knew all the ins and outs of the place, so he said he would show me how to exit. He sure is a sweet guy. I think I am in love!

Sometimes I Don't Pay Attention To Where I Am Going

I ran down the street trying to follow Bat Boy as he was flying off with my baby Lambkin. I was so busy looking up, I didn't hear Deep Thought yell at me to look out for that open man-hole in the street. I fell in it.

It was really deep and I fell and fell and fell and began to have really deep thoughts until I landed in the sewer where Filthy Fred lives!

Lambkin Rescued

I was shocked and scared as Peter Piper dangled my baby over the rail of the balcony. I would never have thought Peter would do such a thing. Then I heard fluttering. It wasn't the same kind of noise as when Nervous Norvis gets flustered, but it was the sound of wings!

Then Bat Boy from the Happy Wiener flew up and snatched Lambkin from the hand of Peter Piper. What a hero!

I Found Lambkin, but...

Peter Piper had taken my baby Lambkin to a hotel and when I found him, he was out on a balcony with it. He was dangling Lambkin over the edge! He called me all kinds of foul names, but I said I wasn't a fowl at all, and neither was our child a bird that could fly!

But he said he'd rather drop her than let her come back with an unfit mother like me!

How crude!

Peter Piper & Lambkin Gone

It was really nice with Vinnie, but he soon fell asleep and suddenly my motherly instinct came back to me. I just stared at the ceiling and wondered how my little Lambkin was. Is Peter Piper taking care of the baby okay? I just couldn't go to sleep.

So I jumped out of bed and slipped on a robe and ran over to Peter Piper's place to peek in. But when I got there, he and little Lambkin were gone! All his belongings were piled in the middle of the floor like he was moving. But where. Was he leaving me and taking my little Lambkin?

Guy With Similar Interests

While I was running, I met a guy who was also running. But he wasn't running in a straight line like me; he was zig-zagging all over the place and acting like he didn't know which way to go. I saw a crowd over by a house with a yellow tape stretched out like it might be the finish line and he just got mixed up and didn't know where it was.

He asked me if he could use my phone, so I took him to my house, but he didn't call anyone. Instead, he just kept peeking out of the windows and acting real nervous almost like Nervous Norvis.

I asked him if he likes to run a lot and he said he has too because he is on the lamb, and I giggled and said, "Not yet." He was a real funny guy. I liked him right away.

He said his name was Vinnie Barbarino.

Too Much Stress

I just felt too stressed out, so I went to the park and raced a cheetah. Running like that is a great stress reduction, as long as the cat isn't hungry. But, you know what? I was wound so tight that I could have out ran that kitty even if it did develop a taste for lamb chops.

The Lonely Lane Leads Us Astray

I kept trying to get Peter Piper to pay attention to me, but he spent all his time with our baby Lambkin. I got so lonely that it hurt! Next thing I remember is being in a bed with Gary the Axolotl and a bottle of cheap wine. What the hell! How in the world could I end up in bed with that cold clammy salamander? It gave me the creeps just to touch him!

Loneliness does strange things to us and makes us do strange things, but this, by far, is the strangest! Eeeewwwweeee!

I Feel Neglected

I was very happy finding my baby Lambkin and knowing that Peter Piper was the father. So I thought we could have a happy little family and live happily ever after. But damn was I wrong! All that Peter Piper is interested in now is that baby! He just pushes her around all day in that stroller and ignores me altogether!

I feel so neglected! I just cannot get his attention no matter what I do!

We Found Lambkin

Good news and bad news! The good news is that I found my baby lambkin! Peter Piper had it all the time! He had put on a mask that made him look like Dewey Banjer and took it and washed it. Yes. That was just body paint on Lambkin's face! Peter Piper is the real daddy of the lamb twin that I had, not Axe Man.

The bad news is that Nervous Norvis became very nervous when he saw me with the baby and Peter Piper. Norvis said I looked so very happy that he knew he had to let me go with Peter. But he fell to the ground as if he was in terrific pain and he cried and cried and cried. He said it was a mix of joy for me that I found Lambkin and its true father, and sadness knowing that he had to give me up to Peter Piper so we could be a family and live happily ever after!

Follow-up story here.

I'm All Flustered

There has been too much excitement and anxiety for me lately. First, Nervous Norvis proposed marriage to me! Then Hildy-Bob found my lost baby and when I went to get it, Dewey Banjer kidnapped it! This is just too much for me to handle at one time!

And the revelation that the baby might belong to Axe Man of Death Cheese is really startling to me! I don't even remember actually having sex with him. But that's not unusual for me since I have a hard time recalling anything that goes on after I have had a few drinks of that cheap wine.

I was so upset and excited that I couldn't deal with the two emotions at the same time. That got me all flustered and I kept spilling the coffee in Norvis' coffee shop. He acted like it was okay and that he understood, but I think he was just being nice because I noticed his face was getting red like he was beginning to get disgusted with me. I have such bad feeling and self doubts about myself! I just hope he doesn't change his mind about me!

A Wonderful Surprise

Nervous Norvis is really sweet! He is shy, but he really surprised me today. He took me to the Netherworld Social Center where Ignatz Spatz was putting on a nice show with some of the girls from the former NG4J group, starring none other than Pansi. It was really nice and clean entertainment.

Norvis then introduced me to Rev. Jimmy Reptile, and he was a whole lot nicer than I had thought he would be. He invited me to come to his church and then winked at Nervous Norvis, who blushed.

I was wondering what that was all about when Norvis pulled something out of his pocket. It was a ring! I almost fainted! He then proposed to me right there in front of all those people!

It's True Love, This Time!

Nervous Norvis took me to his home above his coffee shop after I got drunk at Ugly Grace's and lost my job at the Steak Through The Heart Restaurant. He is really sweet! I'd met him before, but I don't know why I didn't realize what a really super wonderful great guy he was. I suddenly realized what I have been missing all this time! I am really in love, this time. He is the guy for me. I just know it. I can feel it!

Again

What can I say?

Rough Job

My first day as a waitress at work at Steak Through the Heart was really rough. Really it was! It was harder work than carrying all those boards for the roofing contractor. Sexy Sadie came in and I thought I was going to break my arms carrying all those greasy hamburgers and hot dogs to her. I'm just glad she didn't come in with her boyfriend, the fat bat boy. At my lunch break I ran over to Ugly Grace's for a while. That's the nice part of working across the street from my favorite dive.

Got Another Job, Again

Guess what! I got another job! Again! My good girlfriend, Flowering Kudzu, from the trailer park, told me there was an opening for a waitress at Steak Through the Heart. It is just across the street from Ugly Grace's, so I don't have very far to go when I get off work. This is really great. I can't thank Flowering Kudzu enough!

More Thinking, Again

I just relaxed and did some more thinking. I do a lot of thinking. I like to just lay around for hours and think and think and think. At least I think I do.

While I was thinking, Buzzin of Death Cheese came and gave me a massage. That tickled! Especially when he pulled my pants off. I even had a few really good orgasms while he rubbed me, and whatever else he was doing with those fuzzy legs and whatever else. It felt like someone using a rooster-comb condom on me! Buzzin sure knows his stuff.

And Peter Piper played some relaxing music that was in harmony with Buzzin's buzzing. That was really soothing and helped me think even more. And Tom Thumb sang along with his cute little high pitched voice.

I don't remember what I was thinking about, but it was sure nice.

I Went To A Shrink

I was so distraught after Dewey Banjer made a fool out of me. So I went to a shrink and told him the story of my life and death and back to life again.

I told him how my sister disappeared and I couldn't find her. And about going to the planet Shiznit and had a lesbian affair with the girl who didn't have a mouth. And my wondering through the sewers of the Netherworld. And the witch Enditall who cast a spell and turned my head into a lamb's head. And how I tried to reverse the curse on her and burnt myself up and died. And how the Grim Reaper got me pregnant while I was in hell, but later found I was already pregnant by someone before him. And how Dr. Schitz delivered my baby and took it and I can't find it. And how I rose from the dead and tried to get jobs but kept getting fired. But mostly I talked about how Dewey made a fool out of me.

He just looked at me oddly and said I was crazy and handed me a bill. A lot of good it did wasting my time there!

Sheep Thrills

LAMMY
I love ewe, Dewey! My dew-wap a-Dewey. Yes I do do do. Oh zippity Dewey baaa, what a wonderful day! Feels like everything is going my way!

DEWEY
Wow wee, Lammy gal. There's mutton-else liken to a frolic with a lil' lamb to make a man feel ram-bunctious.

LAMMY
Ya liked it! Did ya love it?

DEWEY
It sure beat masticating! Yuk, yuk, yuk. I can sure enough spin a yarn 'bout this to the boys.

LAMMY
Do you love... me?

DEWEY
Oh, Lammy, don't ya be silly. This was just sheep thrills. Mutton-else but sheep thrills!

LAMMY
Don't do this to me, Dewey! Don't fleece me like that!

DEWEY
Don't go getting lambastic and go on a ram-page. I handled ya with kid gloves.

LAMMY
This is shear humiliating. I feel so sheepish now.

DEWEY
The bleat goes on...

LAMMY
I can't believe you consider me just a sheep thrill! You pulled the wool over my eyes!

DEWEY
Now now, my lil' lambkin. Don't get woolly bully.

LAMMY
You made mince meat out of my heart. Baaaaa!

DEWEY
Well, Fleece Navidad! To use a ewe-phemism, flock ewe. I done had enough of this bleating heart crap. A quick sheep dip is common down here on the farm. Get ewe-st to it. I was just a-wanted a leg of lamb. And what's the fun of cloning without the moaning? You weren't virgin wool, ya know!

LAMMY
I just can't take anymore. This is pun-ishment!

DEWEY
Let's get the flock outta here!

Tell Me You Love Me, Dewey

I was so lonely, lost in the eclipsing murk of loneliness when you slithered up to me like the snake you are and led me from my dark shadows. Can this really be the beginning of a real illusion of something great that will make my life meaningful and make flowers bloom just for me under the sky so clear neon blue. Dewey, do tell me if you can tell me, if you will tell me, oh, that you love me, Dewey do tell! What I need and what I want. You're just like me, only wanting to be satisfied! I have no sense of time, no sense of place, only the Nirvana of us rolling with the flow of love, so tell me if you can, tell me if you will, tell me if you dare. Dewey tell me you love me before all this does pass and all I have left is the stain of grass on my ass. Tell me it is so. Hold me, Dewey, hold me like you mean it and that this rapturous moment is forever until it's gone forever. Shoot a bullet in my brain to euthanize my sorrow and pain and baptize my nakedness in the spring rain of love, washing away my loneliness forever until this moment ends, leaving only the stain and sorrow I'll feel and felt before you came and gone. Tell me Dewey, please do tell me now, even if you lie as we lie here, that you love me.

I moan the longest, deepest and the saddest sigh because I know forever ends way too soon.

I'm In Love, Again!

I met the cutest little fellow! His name is Dewey Banjer, and he's just a simple, down to earth country boy. I think this is real love this time! He has sure taught me a lot of stuff you wouldn't think he knew anything about just to meet him once.

He said he heard about my night at Ugly Grace's bar and grill, and I told him that I was ashamed of myself. But he told me not to worry about what other people say or think. He began telling me about something called Yoga, but I thought it was that icky stuff like ice cream.

Dewey took me out on the farm and explained to me how to meditate. I wasn't sure he really knew what he was talking about at first. And I felt sort of silly sitting out in the middle of a field and taking off my clothes. But the sun felt good.

He got really excited and said I was catching on really good. That made me feel proud and not so much like a silly sheep head fool that I was imagining myself to be. He really made me feel a lot better, especially when we had sex.

Thinking, Again

Oh my head. Oh my ass! This is worse than burning a candle at both ends. I am suffering endlessly from all that drinking of cheap wine. I thought I was having fun, then, but can't remember now. I guess it is time to again contemplate the purpose of life and try to figure out my dilemma and my state of dither I call life.

Thus I again assume the position. The thinker position. Sitting on the toilet holding my throbbing head and burning eyes and spitting from my burning ass that stings such that I can't touch it with a powder puff. Is this the punishment for having fun?

The words bounce like lottery balls about to be drawn: ditto, dilemma, dither. Ditto ditto ditto! I keep doing the same thing over and over again! Dilemma dilemma dilemma! Nothing makes sense to me. Dither dither dither! It drives me into a flittering flutter like a moth around a flame, except I keep getting burned. At both ends!

Drunk, Again!

We had a great wild time at Ugly Grace's last night. But I woke up with a banging headache. And down on skid row was Smelte of Death Cheese, the Hippie That Looks Like Jesus, Icy the dog protecting me, Soggy and his Spam, and of course my girlfriends, Lyanne Sakks and the he/she Murry Magdalene. And we were being watched by Brittney the Devil Doll, Harry, and even the Devil himself.

Oh, when will I ever learn? I hope not ever because this ignorance is bliss and so much fun!