Here Comes The Bride (816)

Lambkin and Grand Mummy (717)

Taking Lambkin (711)

The Dirty Fairy is taking Patty Lamb's baby, Lambkin, somewhere.

Lambkin Pleads To Axe Man

Lammy was really upset that she got cut from the Flavor of Axe TV show. Her baby, Lambkin, tries to soften Axe Man's heart so he will let her mommy back on the show.

Wolfie Admits The Truth

I finally gave in and accepted a date with Wolfie, but then he said he was actually gay and just wanted to chase me around because it was a wolf's instinct to prey on lambs. This upset me. I thought he really wanted me because I was a girl. I wish I was a regular girl again. I am really depressed now.

I Prayed For My Lambkin

I went to church and prayed real hard to get my baby Lambkin back from Axe Man, or Spooky Guy who is taking care of her. Then I went to Ugly Grace's Bar and Grill and told everyone.

Lambkin's First Words

Lammy's baby, Lambkin, spoke it's first words. And it's favorite toy is an ax. That makes people believe that Axe Man may be the father! It talks like him and loves to play with an ax! Lammy was supposed to be in court today for a custody hearing because the court feels she is an unfit mother. But Lammy did not show up for the hearing. Instead, she stopped in at Norvis' Coffee Shop. So custody has been awarded to Axe Man until a DNA test can be performed by Dr. Schitz to determine if Axe Man is the real father.

I Was In An Accident

After church, Zack Crackajack offered me a ride home. That guy is a terrible driver! He had a wreck from running a red light. Luckily my baby, Lambkin, was okay. But it knocked the piss out of Axolotl the pet salamander that Lambkin plays with. Well, I guess I should say it knocked the piss off of Axolotl, shouldn't I?

Realizing The Truth

I went over and had a session with the good doctor to try and iron out the kinks in my psyche. It was a really long session this time and we talked for several hours. Finally he convinced me to see reality! He made me see the truth! He made me face my own delusions.

He made me realize that Lambkin was not my baby!

As a matter of fact, she is not a baby at all!

It is just a cloth puppet of Lamb Chop!

That sure was upsetting, learning the truth. I tossed the puppet down and ran from the room. Of course, I headed over to Ugly Grace's to have some cheap wine to settle down my anxiety.

Relax With Baby Lambkin

I now am safe with my baby Lambkin. So I think I will rest for a few days.

Lambkin Is Safe

I was finally reunited with my baby, Lambkin. She was perfectly safe and was playing with Elbot Jr. while Elbot was babysitting. This is a joyous day for me!

I Found Lambkin, but...

Peter Piper had taken my baby Lambkin to a hotel and when I found him, he was out on a balcony with it. He was dangling Lambkin over the edge! He called me all kinds of foul names, but I said I wasn't a fowl at all, and neither was our child a bird that could fly!

But he said he'd rather drop her than let her come back with an unfit mother like me!

How crude!

I Feel Neglected

I was very happy finding my baby Lambkin and knowing that Peter Piper was the father. So I thought we could have a happy little family and live happily ever after. But damn was I wrong! All that Peter Piper is interested in now is that baby! He just pushes her around all day in that stroller and ignores me altogether!

I feel so neglected! I just cannot get his attention no matter what I do!

Dr. Schitz Delivered My Baby

I didn't even know I was in labor when the good doctor came into my room and began jabbing me with needles. I don't remember much after that except looking up and seeing him holding my newborn.

I was really droggy. I couldn't get a clear view of the baby to see who it looked like. I couldn't tell if it belonged to Axe Man or Hashish Henry or Peter Piper or the Iranian Nukie or, hell, who knows which of the many guys I have been with.

I couldn't even tell if it had a lamb's head like me or if it was normal. I just kept passing out and waking up and passing out again.

Dr. Schitz left with the baby and I haven't seen them since. I don't know what he is doing with him, or her -- I couldn't even determine the gender of my own child!