New Brain New Thoughts (691)

Taking the Thinking Thing (689)

Zombies broke in, attacked Dr. Schitz, and stole Lammy's brain.

The Voice In Her Head (688)

Violent Surgery (687)

Nurse Violent removes Lammy's brain so that Dr. Schitz can examine it and see why Lammy is hearing voices.

Going to Dr. Schitz

Lammy 2.0 Meets Orlof

The clone of Lammy went to Ugly Grace's looking for Prof. Snewgflo and met Orlof who tries to act like Axe Man.

Lammy 2.0 Learns To Walk

The clone of Lammy has to learn to walk.

Kidnapped!

Vincent Barbarino Jr. was hired by Dr. Schitz to kidnap Lammy and get her out of sight so he could employ his plan to make Prof. Snewgflo think the clone was the real Lammy and make him think she loves him so Snewgflo wouldn't destroy the whole world in 2012.

The Clone of Lammy

Mickey Ratt and the Moon Gobble see the clone in Dr. Schitz lab.

Dr. Schitz Successful

Dr. Schitz has finally made a clone of Lammy in hopes of making Prof. Snewgflo think it is the real Lammy and that she loves him, so Snewgflo won't destroy the world and Dr. Schitz will win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Another Lammy?

Dr. Schitz plans to make a clone of Lammy to fool Prof. Snewgflo so that he won't destroy the world.

Physical Check Up

I went to Dr. Schitz for my anual physical check up. This is my x-ray. The good doctor just looked at it and laughed. He wouldn't tell me anything at all. He just said he'd let me know when the results came back from the lab. He worries me. That is usually what they say when there is something very wrong and they don't want to tell us.

Screenplay - SCENE 21

Nurse Violent and Kutzu's head.

21 INT. OFFICE - DIMLY LIT

In the hallway, Kudzu stops by a door with a sign
that says PRIVATE OFFICE.

It also has handwritten signs that say KEEP OUT, DO
NOT DISTURB, GET LOST.

Kudzu paces back and forth for a moment, then
reaches for the doorknob, but pulls back her hand.

She paces more.

She reaches for the knob again.

She paces more.

Finally she grabs the knob and jerks the door open
and barges in.

CUT TO

INSIDE THE DARK OFFICE.

FLOWERING KUDZU
Dr.Schitz? You here?

Kudzu pulls out the flashlight she had at the
cemetery and turns it on. Ray of light cuts through
the darkness.

VOICE
(off screen)
Go away!

Kudzu shines the light around and sees a desk, then
a file cabinet, then a book shelf, then a computer.

FLOWERING KUDZU
Dr.Schitz? Where are you?

VOICE
Go away! Go away!

Kudzu stumbles around the room shining the light,
then shines it down.

The light reveals the very ugly face of Nurse Violent,
hissing like a snake or angry cat, showing fangs.

Violent leaps at Kudzu and the flashlight falls to the
floor.

We hear FIGHTING AND SCREAMING.

The room brightens up.

Dr.Schitz is standing by the light switch.

Violent and Kudzu wrestle and fall onto the desk
making paper fly.

A phone falls to the floor making that receiver-off-the-
hook sound.

A foot kicks the computer screen and sparks fly.

A knife in a hand is pumping.

Sound of WOMAN SCREAM.

Blood shoots in streams onto Schitz.

DR. SCHITZ
Stop this!

Schitz grabs Violent and pulls her off of Kudzu.

Violent is holding a bloody knife.

Kudzu's head rocks slowly, then falls off onto the
floor.

Kudzu's neck is spewing blood.

There is a moment of silence as Schitz and Violent
stare at the head.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, did I do a bad?

DR. SCHITZ
Yes, you did.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, my bad.

DR. SCHITZ
Don't worry. I'll stick her back
together after while. But I had better
get over to the lab. Snewgflo is
waiting for me. I forgot.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, he can wait.

Violent begins kissing Schitz passionately and they
fall to the floor.

Violent stops and looks at the head of Kudzu with its
eyes staring at her.

She grabs the head by the hair and tosses it into a
waste basket.

Blood flies and splatters.

DR. SCHITZ
Have I ever told you that you a very
sloppy.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, I just hate to be watched.

Schitz and Violent embrace and kiss madly as they
roll on the floor in the pools of blood.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN

Continue

Dr. Schitz Delivered My Baby

I didn't even know I was in labor when the good doctor came into my room and began jabbing me with needles. I don't remember much after that except looking up and seeing him holding my newborn.

I was really droggy. I couldn't get a clear view of the baby to see who it looked like. I couldn't tell if it belonged to Axe Man or Hashish Henry or Peter Piper or the Iranian Nukie or, hell, who knows which of the many guys I have been with.

I couldn't even tell if it had a lamb's head like me or if it was normal. I just kept passing out and waking up and passing out again.

Dr. Schitz left with the baby and I haven't seen them since. I don't know what he is doing with him, or her -- I couldn't even determine the gender of my own child!

Surprising End of My Trial

There was a curious twist in my trial to appeal my sentence to hell and have my death reversed!

The judge, Icy, called Dr. Schitz and Prof. Snewgflo to testify. First the good doctor gave a long and boring explanation about DNA which no one could understand, but the pictures he used for graphics were pretty. They looked like a Picaso painting and made about as much sense. Then Prof. Snewgflo tried to clear up what Dr. Schitz was trying to say. It was a shock to me as well as everyone else when they finally got to the point.

They said the my baby did not belong to the Grim Reaper.

That fact made it quite evident that there really was no conspiracy by the Devil and Grim Reaper to get me in Hell to have the son of death. This really embarrassed my lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger and he hid under the table, thinking he had lost the case for me. But it wasn't as bad as all that. It turned out quite well for me!

Upon hearing the evidence that my unborn child did not belong to the Grim Reaper, both he and the Devil raged with anger, calling me all kinds of foul names. Then they stormed out of the courtroom in disgust. Thus Icy, the new judge, declared them in contempt and dismissed my sentence to Hell as well as reversing my death.

But Icy set conditions. She said I first had to spend some time at a half-way house in the Netherworld before being restored to full life on Earth. That didn't sound too bad. As a matter of fact, I was wanting to return to the Netherworld where I had seen my long lost sister, Lula. I had tried to approach her but a Dhole bobbed up and kept me away. So I feel pretty sure Lula is in the Netherworld and I welcome the opportunity to go back and find her. It has been about a year since she disappeared.

The only question that remains concerning my delicate condition is: Who is the daddy of my unborn baby?

So I have a three-fold mission ahead of me. One, to continue my quest to find my sister, Lula.
Two, find out just who is the father of my soon to be born child.
Three, to reverse the spell Enditall the witch cast on me causing my head to turn into a lamb's head.