Bot Buddy Looks For Lammy

Bot Buddy questioned Flowering Kudzu about where Lammy was. The robot did not appreciate her make-over.

Went To a Concert With Asnuxd

Lammy and Flowering Kudzu went to a concert with Asnuxd -- oh, we mean Olof Strait-Lacen. They thought he was the Spooky Guy, but the Spooky Guy claimed it was his cousin that they went with. Olof (Asnuxd) sure resembled the Spooky Guy enough to fool the girls. Here is a picture of Olof next to a picture of the Spooky Guy from Cheesemeister's blog (links to her blog is in the sidebar).

The characters were created with DAZ Studio which is free from www.daz3d.com, but you have to buy the bodies and clothes. We used the above photo from Cheesemeister's blog to create the face of the character which can be used in making pictures or movies.

Another Friend

Then came a guy's voice asking, "Don't I get a hug, too?" It was the Spooky Guy. He was out jogging when he saw the girls. Lammy asked him if he was the one who left her the nice outfit she was wearing, but he said he didn't leave it for her. He was curious why she was wearing only one shoe, and she explained there was only one shoe in the box. "Beggars can't be choosers," Lammy said. Neither of the girls inquired as to why he was running in his underwear, figuring there are much stranger things than that in the Netherworld.

Rap Dance

Me and my bestest girlfriend Flowering Kudzu do our dancing bit.

(13) Girl's Night Out

The girls plan a night out.

NEXT

(12) Let's Go Party

Flowering Kudzu and I decided to go out for the evening.

NEXT

(11) Mickey Ratt Protests

I really don't know if it is called Patty Cake like patting, or Paddy Cake like making Paddies. Whatever it is, Mickey Ratt didn't like it.

NEXT

(10) Paddy Cake Paddy Cake...

Norvis acted so surprised and shocked when he walked in and saw us on the bed naked, but we were just playing a game of slapping our hands together and singing Paddy Cake...

NEXT

(7) Prenuptial Honeymoon

I was almost as shocked as Norvis when Kudzu said Honeymoon. But after he passed out, she explained to me that it was just a prenuptual sexual encounter to see how it might be if they did get married later on. But I think Kudzu was getting fed up with Norvis passing out and acting so nervous all the time.

NEXT

(6) Honeymoon?

Flowering Kudzu told me she was on a honeymoon with Nervous Norvis! The mere thought of marriage made Norvis so nervous that he passed out!

NEXT

Screenplay - SCENE 42

42 INT. DR. SCHITZ LAB - DAY

Lammy, holding Lambkin, Henry, Snewgflo, Schitz,
Quatloo, Phelps and Kudzu gather around the
machine.

QUATLOO
(to Snewgflo)
So I have one hour to decide if I
want to stay or not?

SNEWGFLO
Yes. Here.
(hands him iPhone)
If you want out, just call us.

QUATLOO
Is the girl expecting me?

LAMMY
I called my sister and told her. Lula
is waiting for you.

QUATLOO
I hope she likes me.

LAMMY
She is what they call a young
curmudgeon, but you'll get used to
her.
(whispers to Henry)
Not.

Quatloo climbs onto the cot and then crawls into the
small opening into the machine.

Snewgflo presses the 'on' button, but nothing
happens.

SNEWGFLO
What's wrong with it! It's not
working! It's broke!

Mickey Rat sticks the cord into the wall plug and the
machine starts to roar.

FLOWERING KUDZU
Hope he likes it in there!

PHELPS
Sure, then you will get all his money.
(stares at her)
By the way, you got a boyfriend?

FLOWERING KUDZU
Not at the moment.

PHELPS
How bout going down to Ugly
Grace's bar and have a couple drinks
with me while we wait.

FLOWERING KUDZU
Sure. How long have you worked for
grand-daddy?

Their voices FADE AND ECHOES as they walk out of
the door and down the hall.

LAMMY
Hey. What happened to Axe Man?

HASHISH HENRY
Oh. Well. He saw that band leaving
and started talking to them and
forgot all about you.

LAMMY
He always could just think of one
thing at a time, like a one track
mind.

HASHISH HENRY
And so he went with them to jam, or
whatever they call it.

LAMMY
Musicians are fickle sometimes.
They love their music more than
anything.

DR. SCHITZ
Oh, will you guys please excuse me
for a while.

SNEWGFLO
Where you going?

DR. SCHITZ
I have to perform some surgery.

HASHISH HENRY
Anyone we know?

DR. SCHITZ
As a matter of fact, yes. Murry
Magdalene. He wants me to give him
a sex-change operation.

LAMMY
You going to cut off his penis?

DR. SCHITZ
(smirks)
My nurse Violent will do that. I will
then sew in a woo-woo for him.

HASHISH HENRY
That will make Norvis happy.

LAMMY
If he doesn't get too nervous to hit
the hole!

Henry and Lammy sit on the couch as Snewgflo
watches the dials on the machine.

Continue

Screenplay - SCENE 21

Nurse Violent and Kutzu's head.

21 INT. OFFICE - DIMLY LIT

In the hallway, Kudzu stops by a door with a sign
that says PRIVATE OFFICE.

It also has handwritten signs that say KEEP OUT, DO
NOT DISTURB, GET LOST.

Kudzu paces back and forth for a moment, then
reaches for the doorknob, but pulls back her hand.

She paces more.

She reaches for the knob again.

She paces more.

Finally she grabs the knob and jerks the door open
and barges in.

CUT TO

INSIDE THE DARK OFFICE.

FLOWERING KUDZU
Dr.Schitz? You here?

Kudzu pulls out the flashlight she had at the
cemetery and turns it on. Ray of light cuts through
the darkness.

VOICE
(off screen)
Go away!

Kudzu shines the light around and sees a desk, then
a file cabinet, then a book shelf, then a computer.

FLOWERING KUDZU
Dr.Schitz? Where are you?

VOICE
Go away! Go away!

Kudzu stumbles around the room shining the light,
then shines it down.

The light reveals the very ugly face of Nurse Violent,
hissing like a snake or angry cat, showing fangs.

Violent leaps at Kudzu and the flashlight falls to the
floor.

We hear FIGHTING AND SCREAMING.

The room brightens up.

Dr.Schitz is standing by the light switch.

Violent and Kudzu wrestle and fall onto the desk
making paper fly.

A phone falls to the floor making that receiver-off-the-
hook sound.

A foot kicks the computer screen and sparks fly.

A knife in a hand is pumping.

Sound of WOMAN SCREAM.

Blood shoots in streams onto Schitz.

DR. SCHITZ
Stop this!

Schitz grabs Violent and pulls her off of Kudzu.

Violent is holding a bloody knife.

Kudzu's head rocks slowly, then falls off onto the
floor.

Kudzu's neck is spewing blood.

There is a moment of silence as Schitz and Violent
stare at the head.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, did I do a bad?

DR. SCHITZ
Yes, you did.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, my bad.

DR. SCHITZ
Don't worry. I'll stick her back
together after while. But I had better
get over to the lab. Snewgflo is
waiting for me. I forgot.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, he can wait.

Violent begins kissing Schitz passionately and they
fall to the floor.

Violent stops and looks at the head of Kudzu with its
eyes staring at her.

She grabs the head by the hair and tosses it into a
waste basket.

Blood flies and splatters.

DR. SCHITZ
Have I ever told you that you a very
sloppy.

NURSE VIOLENT
Oh, I just hate to be watched.

Schitz and Violent embrace and kiss madly as they
roll on the floor in the pools of blood.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN

Continue

I've Become Addicted To Coffee

It was nice sneaking out of rehab for a while and being with my friends again, but something strange came over me. After sitting there reading and drinking coffee so much, I just didn't have the desire to drink that cheap wine. And I had a compulsion to finish that book, I guess because I had invested so much time in it. I had spent hours and hours and didn't want to quit now. I was dying to know what the second sentence said.

What seemed so funny was that I had influenced my friends and they all ordered coffee to drink. But Ugly Grace got really pissed and told us to go over to Nervous Norvis Coffee Shop and waste his time. How rude.

Nice Time At Ugly Grace's

I met the girls at Ugly Grace's and we had a really nice time. I told them about finding out that my baby Lambkin was not a baby at all, but just a cloth puppet of Lamb Chop. The girls all just comforted me and said they all had very similar experiences.

Murry Magdalene said she had the delusion that a crucifix was her baby. And Flowering Kudzu said her first child turned out to be just a carton of cigarettes. She looked real good, by the way, after Dr. Schitz got her all back together again. He even gave Flowering Kudzu a whole new body this time, but warned her to stay away from Axe Man if she wanted to keep it.

Then Jimmy Reptile came in with all that praising the Lord stuff and he introduced us to his new assistant which was a Giant Mantis. Jimmy Reptile said we should be more like him and pray. The Giant Mantis just kept asking us if we have seen Buzzin and Buzzoff lately.

It was a very nice evening and I started back to my house, but then suddenly remembered that I had left that running guy who looked like Al Capone there. I wondered if he was still there.

Bat Boy Rescues Me

Bat Boy flew down and rescued me from the wrath of Axe Man. The young boy bat told me he would take me to safety where he had my baby Lambkin hidden. It seems that Lyanne Sakks has lived up to her name and is just a Lying Sack!

Axe Man Axed Kudzu

Axe Man rushed out from the Netherworld Hotel and was really upset since he found that Flowering Kudzu and I had slept together. He thought he was going to marry the Kudzu. But he ended the engagement swiftly with a few swings of his ax.

It looks like Dr. Schitz's new assistant, Rubic Cubic, will be busy piecing Kudzu back together and super gluing her.

Looking For Lambkin

I got a call from that sweet little bitch, Lyanne Sakks, and she said that my baby Lambkin was probably with Spooky Guy at the Netherworld Hotel. So I headed over that way to find out. Flowering Kudzu tagged along with me, even though I was hoping she would get lost. She's like some kind of creepy clinging vine that is nice at first, but then you just can't get rid of it.

The Netherworld Hotel was still red from the Valentine's Party, but they say it will return to its normal abnormalcy pretty soon.

Got Another Job, Again

Guess what! I got another job! Again! My good girlfriend, Flowering Kudzu, from the trailer park, told me there was an opening for a waitress at Steak Through the Heart. It is just across the street from Ugly Grace's, so I don't have very far to go when I get off work. This is really great. I can't thank Flowering Kudzu enough!