Another Attempt At A Job

I got a job, for a little while, at the Netherworld Zoo. But they gave me all the dirty jobs. I just couldn't stand that slimy two headed Dhole! And I couldn't understand what my boss, B. Jammin was telling me to do. It stunk worse than Arsewipe's place! So after just a couple hours, I quit that job. It was really gross!

Piss Or Get Off The Pot

I got tired of resting, so I started looking for another job. Have to pay the rent, you know. Well, I found that Arsewipe the Crappy Ghoul has another quiz show and I went on it! We were supposed to hold our pee as long as we could until we got on the show, and then the contestants would piss, and Gary the Axolotl would judge who pissed the most and gave him the best 'golden shower'. I thought the other contestant was the Cheesemeister, but it was the girl from Fem Nikita or something like that. But I won! Gary liked my Golden Shower the best! I won enough quatloos to pay up my rent for a while.

Fired Again -- Sort of...

It was good getting out of that broken time portal machine! So I headed back to my class, but the teacher was really mad because I had missed so many classes. I tried to explain about going back in history to do my homework, but he just fired me. Well, it was like being fired. And the college kicked me out. That upset me, but what really bothered me was when I tried to go to cheerleader practice and they fired me, too! I felt all upset and depressed again, so I headed back to Ugly Grace's bar. Heck, I could get an education there!

Now I Need A Job

I liked the room. But now I have to go find a job.

To see and hear the side show, click here.

I Quit My Job

That was the first job that I didn't get fired from, because I quit! That young boy was Indy when he was young. He was nice and even told me that I reminded him of Britney Spears.

He really had piles and piles of stories that he wrote. I couldn't imagine how in the world to file all of them, and I couldn't figure how in the world he could imagine all of them.

But what really bothered me is that he buried himself in his work. That's right. He was actually up to his neck in that pile of stories and he would just stare at me all the time. I don't know why he watched me so much, maybe he didn't trust me or something. But who likes to be spied on when they are trying to work? Not me! So I quit.

Back To Job Hunting, Again

The fire in my apartment above Ugly Grace's was contained and didn't harm the bar or outside of the building. But Ugly Grace threw me out. Besides, I was back on the rent. So I had to get dressed and went out job hunting again. I went back to that young boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. who said he needed a secretary. I got the job!

Got Another Job, Again

Guess what! I got another job! Again! My good girlfriend, Flowering Kudzu, from the trailer park, told me there was an opening for a waitress at Steak Through the Heart. It is just across the street from Ugly Grace's, so I don't have very far to go when I get off work. This is really great. I can't thank Flowering Kudzu enough!

Fired, Again!

Hashish Henry, the Sandwich Head Man, fired me from the convenient store job. He said I was probably just drunk or passed out and let that guy come and take all the money from the cash register. Besides, he said the story about Billy the Kid in red parachute pants was just too far-fetched for him to believe.

I tried crying like Lucy in the "I Love Lucy" show, but he wouldn't buy that either. Since he now owns the store, he thinks he's like Donald Trump or something and loves to say, "You're Fired!" He just kept saying it over and over again while I finished off all the Mad Dog 20/20 wine he had on stock.

Then I headed on down to skid row to Ugly Grace's Bar and Grill.

Billy The Kid Robbed Me

The midnight shift wasn't too bad because it wasn't very busy. I had plenty of time to sip some wine and take naps. I was beginning to really enjoy this job until Billy the Kid came in.

He was a real smart ass. He talked really nasty to me. Then I saw him stuffing bottles of wine down the front of those red parachute pants he wears. When I mentioned the bulge in the front of his pants, he just grinned and suggested that I was just turned on by his anatomy. How disgusting!

Then he robbed me. Or robbed the store. Whatever. Anyway, he took all the money from the register and then ran off. I just went over and got another bottle of wine and took another break before calling Henry, my boss.

Got A Job At A Convenience Store

After losing my job in the morning, I strolled down to the convenience store where Hashish Henry worked. Come to find out, he now owns the store. And he hired me to work for him!

That was great. Except for one thing. I have to work the graveyard shift all night long. But that's okay. They sell Mad Dog 20/20 wine there and I can sip on that all night.

I'm glad that Hashish Henry, the Sandwich Head Man, still likes me. At least that is what I felt when he gave me a job after I got fired for sleeping on the other job. But I began wondering why he put me on the midnight shift.

Fired From My New Job

I got a job working for a home-improvement company that's replacing the roof on Tom & Icy's house. I had to carry a lot of big ole boards and they were really heavy. So I had to rest, but wouldn't you know that the contractor came by right as I was taking a short break.

He didn't like that and said I was fired. Well, that job didn't last very long. Neither did the nap I was taking.

I tried to joke around with the curmudgeon boss, but he just told me to go to the Devil! I told him, "Been there. Done that." Suffice to say, he wasn't amused.

Realities of Life

It was nice at first returning to life after being dead, but rather quickly reality begins to set in.

I had forgotten about the misery of "that time of the month" when your stomach aches and you become upset easily and short tempered while depression and negative thoughts take over the mind. The curse of the pain and agony of living soon began to consume me.

That awful time of the month when the rent and bills come due!

So I had to get my butt off the bar stool and get back to job hunting again!

Job Hunting

I was really nervous when I went for my first job interview. To my surprise, there was a genius boy about eleven who was head of the computer programming company. He was very polite and talked really nice to me, just like a kid would do. Oh, did I say kid? Sorry, I didn't mean the pun, it just slipped out. But the boy wonder didn't make any jokes or puns about my having a lamb's head like I just then accidentally did.

He asked me what kind of computer programming I knew and I said I was really good with Java. Then he smiled and politely said that I wasn't needed because they have their coffee delivered from Starbucks, and besides, he didn't drink coffee. Too young.

I was sure nervous and the fleece on my forehead was soaked with sweat. I didn't get the job, but at least I got a little experience in going for an interview. This job hunting is really nerve racking and tough!