The Dhole Bobbed Up

The Dhole bobbed up and Prof. Snewgflo ran for his life with the creature right behind him, leaving Lammy alone and locked in the chair.

What Do You Expect?

Lammy does what comes naturally to her. Or was this all a ploy by Prof. Snewgflo to get her back into the tower apartment?

Up Bobbed a Dhole

Suddenly up bobbed a dhole (pronounced dole) and Bat Boy fluttered away like a frightened bird.
Click HERE to read about a dhole in wikipedia: a fictional creature of H.P. Lovecraft, but we scaled it down.
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Blood of the Lamb?

I was invited to church with Rev. Jimmy Reptile and Brittney the Devil Doll. I felt sort of funny the way they all kept looking at me and grinning. Especially Elizabeth Bathory, the blood countess and Nosferatu. Also at the service was Aubvey, the Dhole, and the janitor, Jesus Romirez. It was when they asked me to get on the alter while they all pulled out knives that I really got scared and ran from the place. They were singing something about the blood of the lamb!

My Woo-Woo Snatched!

That Dhole bobbed between my legs, snatched my woo-woo and slid back down it's worm hole. Now I am woo-less! Just like one of those plastic Barbie dolls! No more sex. No more love. No more little lambkins. And how will I pee? I just got to get my woo-woo back! Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

What Does The Dhole Want?

That Dhole! What is it after? What does it want with me? It ate off all my clothes and made me feel funny, like as if I was naked or something. Well, I guess I was naked. But the long one-eyed monster didn't stop there. It kept bobbing it's Dhole head trying to get my knees apart. What does that thing want?

That Darn Dhole Again!

The next morning, I wanted a little quiet time, or quality time by myself, so I took some cheap wine and went looking around in the graveyard. Then I found my old grave where I was buried a while back. To recap, I tried to reverse the curse that Endital the witch put on me to turn my head into a sheep's head, but when I used the candles for the spell, I got burned up and died and went to hell. But I went to court and had my death repealed and came back to life.

Well, anyway, while I was looking at my grave a Dhole bobbed it's head up from behind my tombstone! A Dhole is a huge snake or worm or something that eats people. I guess. That was the same Dhole that has been after me for a long time. It really scared me and made me have to pee as I wondered who would come and save me this time.

The Cellar Gets Crowded

Arsewipe keeps wanting to know if both me (Maaaaater) and my Anti-Maaaaater are going to be on his show Wednesday. But I just can't make a decision!

Click on faces or shapes to hear voices

Rodney Roach Saves Me

After Rodney Roach untied me, we both fled from that place, Vinnie's hide-out. I was surprised how fast a roach could run, but sure enough, Rodney Roach kept right up with me all the time. He was so sweet, for a nasty bug and all. He kept yelling, "Run, Lammy, run!" and it brought a tear to my eye that he had rescued me and seemed like the only one who cared about me at all.

More tears flowed as I ran and thought that there was not one single person I have known that would help put up a ransom to get me free. And even more tears flowed as I thought about all those guys that I had gone with who rejected me.

And even more tears flowed as I thought of all the jobs I have had, but was fired just because no one liked me. More and more tears flowed as I grew more and more depressed thinking how nobody loves me. It is such a lonely feeling, like I am useless and no good for anything.

Even Enditall the witch had cursed me and I really never understood why, except that she must have hated me a lot. That really hurts to think about and it makes me cry so much that snot runs out of my nose and gets all over my face while I am running.

And I cried even more when I thought about my trial and getting my death reversed. The truth was that the Devil hated me and didn't want me in hell. Now that is really being hated! I really sobbed hard thinking of that one.

I was crying so much that I fell in that open man-hole again and fell into the slimy sewer. At first I thought all that liquefied muck and piss was how much tears I had shed. Then there was another splash.

Rodney Roach had jumped down the man-hole to be with me. How sweet that little fellow is! But then he turned really big like a man and that scared me so much I had to pee, but since I was sitting in sewage, I just let it go as if I was in a swimming pool.

Rodney had turned into Ninja Roach and was protecting me from the Dhole in the sewer. That made me cry to think that there was someone who really cared.

Smelt Saved Me

I thought for sure I was a goner! That Dhole hissed and came at me like it was going to swallow me whole. But then it backed off. I didn't realize why at first, then I noticed that Smelt of the Death Cheese was right behind me, and he scared the Dhole, for some reason. It was afraid of him and hissed for a minute, then bobbed back down into the sewage.

Smelt said he often comes down in the sewer to think and relax. He knew all the ins and outs of the place, so he said he would show me how to exit. He sure is a sweet guy. I think I am in love!

Realities of Life

It was nice at first returning to life after being dead, but rather quickly reality begins to set in.

I had forgotten about the misery of "that time of the month" when your stomach aches and you become upset easily and short tempered while depression and negative thoughts take over the mind. The curse of the pain and agony of living soon began to consume me.

That awful time of the month when the rent and bills come due!

So I had to get my butt off the bar stool and get back to job hunting again!

Another Way Home

The kind Prof. Snewgflo was very concerned (like Deep Thought is) with the conspiratorial relationship of Rev. Jimmy Reptile, Enditall the witch and Warren Jeffs saying that they were creating a "Yetwards Transmutation Effect " on the inhabitants of the planet Earth by taking the established flux induction of life projectory and bending the axel to conform to their own delusions of Divine Yetward Hegemony.

I just said, "Duh!" and told him that they had sabotaged our spaceship which was my only transportation back to Earth.

Prof. Snewgflo smiled and told me I should take Josephine S. Blick's advice and go through a Tesla Inductive Tubeway back to Earth.

Again, I just said "Duh!"

He said "Worm Hole!"

The Alien Guy perked up and grinned yelling, "Yes, a worm hole is a spacial rift that will get you home! But it will take you through the Netherworld."

I squealed with excitement of realizing that going through the Netherworld I would get to go to the Death Cheese concert at Ugly Grace's and see Axe man!

I was like, "I'm so thrilled that I have to pee."

The Alien Guy thanked Dr. Snewgflo and told me we would have to return to the tumtum tree place and find the Dhole. That's the enlongated fox that also takes the form of a huge worm-like creature. We entered the woods and I quickly ducked behind some bushes to relieve the pressure on my bladder.

Suddenly, when I was just ready to let go the piss flow, I noticed the worm-like thing was slithering up between my legs! I hate when that happens.