Screenplay - SCENE 38

38 EXT. BEAUTIFUL MEADOW - DAY

Lammy and Lula walk holding hands as fairies fly
around and Axolotl hops beside them.

LULA
(nods at Axolotl)
That's such a cute little fucker once
you get used to him.

LAMMY
(laughs)
But you can't let him in the house
because of the smell.
(looks around)
Don't you have houses in this world?
Or other people? I mean, is it all just
like this?

LULA
I have all the shit I need here. I
really didn't like the fuck'n bastards
when I was back over there. And the
sons of bitches hated my ass, too!
Fuck them all!

Lula leads Lammy over to a clump of bushes that has
marijuana growing with them.

LAMMY
(giggles)
Hashish Henry would love this place!

LULA
Who the shit?

LAMMY
My boyfriend.
(silly closed mouth smile)
For now.
(shrugs shoulders)
I guess.

LULA
Don't you know?

LAMMY
Well, we were going together and
then you were in the cemetery and
he didn't tell me, so I got mad at
him.

LULA
That wasn't me. I can't leave this
place.

LAMMY
But who was it, then?

LULA
It was a bitch called Lyanne Sakks
acting like me.

LAMMY
If you can't leave, how'd you know
that?

Lula pulls out a iPhone and taps on the screen, then
shows Lammy.

LULA
I could see what the fuck goes on
over there with my iPhone. Fuck'n
Snewgflo gave it to me and added
some special shit to it.

LAMMY
Wow. You can see what goes on in
my world!

LULA
But I don't use the sucker much
because you can't talk back to me.
But fuck'n Snewgflo might give you
one, then we could talk and shit.

LAMMY
You not coming back with me?

LULA
After so long, you fuck'n can't leave.
Now I can never leave. Fuck, I don't
really want to go back to that shit
hole over there.

LAMMY
But I don't want to stay here, like
forever!

Lula presses the screen, then shows Lammy.

The screen shows Henry and Axe Man in the lab.

LULA
They might save your ass. But if they
do, be sure and get one of these so
you can fuck'n call me.

LAMMY
How about that. Henry and Axe Man
together.

Then Lula shoos away the flying fairies then taps the
screen again and shows it to Lammy.

It shows the ceremony room at Quatloo's and Evil Ed
with the knives above Lambkin on the altar.

LULA
Isn't that your baby?

LAMMY
My Lambkin! I really do have a baby!
They had me convinced it was all in
my imagination! Got so, I don't know
what's real and what ain't.

LULA
I was like that. But way fuck'n worse
than you are. That's why I'm better
off over here.
(stares at iPhone)
Look at this fool.

LAMMY
That's Evil Ed, I think. Some reporter
for the Crappy Times. What's he
doing there?

LULA
Sort of funny as hell.

LAMMY
Killing my baby ain't funny!

LULA
Don't mean it that way. Just the
nervous shit-faced look.

LAMMY
Huh?

LULA
And his hands are shaking. Looks
fuck'n scared. Or just don't want to
be there. Doing that.

LAMMY
Is there a way I can get out? I got to
save Lambkin!

LULA
Only if they turn off the fuck'n
machine, then you can go back
through that pipe over there.

They look at a drain pipe coming out of the hillside.

LAMMY
They'll save me!

LULA
Then which one will you go with?
The fucker with the ax or the bastard
with the sandwich head?

LAMMY
I like them both. Oh. I have so much
trouble making up my mind! I just
can't make a decision!

LULA
At least you have a choice. I get
fuck'n lonely here. Just these damn
fairies.

LAMMY
Maybe when I get out, I can find
someone who will want to come
here and live forever with you.

LULA
If you get your ass out, don't forget
me.

They hug. Fairies buzz around them.

LAMMY
I'll never forget you, sis. I love you!

Lula shoos the fairies then looks at the little screen.

LULA
I think they are about to rescue your
ass! Haul it over there and get
ready!

Lammy and Axolotl run over to the pipe, then Lammy
runs back and hugs and kisses her sister.

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