Visiting The Lawyer (752)

Lammy goes to her lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger, to sue Prof. Snewgflo and make him reprogram her brain and make her pretty again.

Judge Grimmy (701)

Lammy went to court with her lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger, before the Grim Reaper as the judge.

In Jail (699)

Lammy's lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger, talks to Lammy before she goes to court.

Smenita Called To Testify

My lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger, called the fairy, Smenita, to the stand to testify. She is sometimes called the whispering fairy and sometimes the wicked fairy because she is so mischievous. He wanted to show the Judge and Nancy Grace how the fairy kept whispering wicked stuff in my ear as I slept and caused me to light some candles and put an evil spell on Enditall the witch. It was Enditall who cursed me and turned my head into a lamb's head. Smenita kept whispering to me to get revenge on the witch. But when I tried to cast a spell on Enditall, the candles set me on fire.

Shyster Pettifogger wanted to show that the evil idea of casting the spell was not my idea at and and thus there was no premeditated intent to do evil. I was just an innocent victim of the wicked fairy, Smenita.

I don't know if the judge got all that because Nancy Grace kept running her mouth and he couldn't concentrate on the testimony.

I May Return!

I have retained a lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger, to argue my case before the superior court of the Netherworld concerning my conviction to hell. This is one slick lawyer. He says he may even have my death reversed so that I can return free to life on earth.

But this has really upset the Grim Reaper. Not only because of his job, but mostly because I am pregnant with his child. Death will have to pay me child support!

Soured Love Again!

Heshe night at the Happy Wiener was fun, but ended in tragedy for me. I saw Shyster Pettifogger having a drink with Wolfie of the Death Cheese Band. I felt so jealous for some reason. I asked him about it and he said he was busy with business. Later I saw them kiss! Now what kind of business is that? I was devastated emotionally! I really loved Shyster a lot. And now he has forgotten about me and is interested in Wolfie! What a love life I have! I don't have a love life! I had to go pee, then ran out into the darkness. I just felt like running away from it all! I just felt like running!

He Showed Me His Dresses

My lawyer, Shyster Pettifogger, was such a nice and fun person to be with. He was really funny, but I had to try and hold my snickers in because he would keep reminding me that he was serious. That just made it even more funny to me. I strained to hold my laughter in, but it would just spurt out my nose with the wine he gave me to drink. I just couldn't help it!

He took me to his friends photography studio where they were taking pictures of him in his dresses. Yes! He really did like to wear women's dresses. And then he would do some kind of act on the week-end at the Happy Wiener on Heshe Nite. That's when the guys all dress like women and get up and dance around on stage. He promised to take me there tomorrow.

But later in the night, after a lot more wine, we went to bed and he showed me that he was a great lover and very manly in that respect. Oh, remember that I am actually twenty-years-old. I lied on my profile and haven't had a chance to change it. But I look a lot younger for my age because of this lamb head. People say it makes me look cute and I am beginning to get used to it. I actually am beginning to like it. I'll be 21 on February 15 at one minute past midnight. I barely missed being a Valentine Baby. My birthday is the same as the Cheesemeister, but she is a whole lot older!