By The Tumtum Tree

I ran into the darkness, feeling all mimsy like a borogrove when I beheld a slithy tove resting by the Tumtum tree. "Beware the Jabberwock!" he said like a manxome and he pulled his vorpal sword peering at me all brilling and mimsy like. "Shun the frumious Bandersnatch!"

"Are you Lewis Carroll or something?" I asked him as politely as I could, considering that I was shaking from fear and had to pee from the fright in the night.

"Close, but no cigar. My name is John Mark Karr and I really like you, but I would really love you if you were about ten years younger, like six or seven!"

I began to shiver and the pee began to stream down my leg as I said, "But I lied about my age. Actually I am twenty, soon to be twenty-one!"

He just grinned saying, "With that lamb's head, you look cuddly and cute. Come to my arms, my beamish lamb! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy.

"Oh, I'm thirty, forty, fifty, sixty. I'm a hundred, do you hear?" I screamed at him.

"No matter none. The vorpal blade will snicker-snack! Leaving you dead, and with that cute little head I'll go galumphing back."

I peered up to the dark empty sky and thought to myself, "Where is an Axe Man when you really need one?"