Screenplay - SCENE 28

Lammy and Gary the Axolotl

28 INT. DR. SCHITZ LAB - NIGHT

FADE IN.

Schitz enters the lab to see Lammy next to Henry
who is pointing the stun gun at Snewgflo.

Schitz walks over by Snewgflo and they sit on a
couch.

LAMMY
Henry! Guess what!

HASHISH HENRY
What, Lammy?

LAMMY
I have to pee.

HASHISH HENRY
Well, go pee.

LAMMY
Where's the rest room?

Henry looks at Schitz.

DR. SCHITZ
Down at the end of the hall.

LAMMY
But I don't want to go by myself.
Can't I just piss behind the machine?

SNEWGFLO
Please don't piss in here! I am
allergic to urine!

LAMMY
But I'm scared to go out there by
myself.

GARY THE AXOLOTL
(tiny voice)
Here! Here! In here!

They see a small salamander on the CAT scan
looking machine.

He is motioning Lammy to crawl inside.

LAMMY
Yeah! I could climb inside that
machine and pee.

GARY THE AXOLOTL
Yes! Yes! Come inside! Give me a
golden shower!

LAMMY
He likes to be pissed on, you know.

HASHISH HENRY
If you don't, then he will be pissed
off.

LAMMY
Huh?

HASHISH HENRY
Never mind.

LAMMY
But I have to pee really really bad!

HASHISH HENRY
Well, go ahead!

SNEWGFLO
Yes. Go inside my machine!

LAMMY
You sure it's okay? It won't bother
you or make you sick or nothing if I
pee in it?

SNEWGFLO
The machine will take you to another
dimension, far far away. It won't
bother me there.

LAMMY
Can I get back out?

SNEWGFLO
Sure. Go on in. If you got to go, you
got to go.

LAMMY
And I really got to go.

HASHISH HENRY
Then go already!

LAMMY
I'm going already!

Lammy then crawls up on the cot and follows Axolotl
into the small opening of the machine.

The door opens and Vinnie enters the lab.

Snewgflo and Schitz stand up and walk on either side
of Henry.

He waves the gun back and forth toward each of
them.

They then grab him and he drops the gun. It slides
under the machine.

They force him back into the wheelchair and tie him.

SNEWGFLO
Now to get rid of the Lamb girl!

Snewgflo flips on the machine and it begins to roar.

HASHISH HENRY
Stop! What are you doing to Lammy!

Lammy screams.

GARY THE AXOLOTL
Ohhhhh! A really big golden shower!
What a gusher! Weeeeee!

HASHISH HENRY
Can they get back out?

SNEWGFLO
Not after an hour. Then they're stuck
forever in there!

The guys laugh as Henry struggles.

DR. SCHITZ
I have a couple girls to sew up. Why
don't you two take this guy and get
him out of our way.

VINNIE BARBARINO
That head of his makes me hungry!

Vinnie and Snewgflo roll Henry out of the lab as
Schitz goes to his operating room.

FADE OUT.

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