Freddy Phelps, Lyanne Sakks, Dewey Banjer
13 - IN. UGLY GRACE'S BAR AND GRILL - DIMLY LIT
FADE IN:
Lammy moves very close to Kudzu, examining her
necklace.
DEWEY BANJER
She got a p-u-r-d-y mouth!
LAMMY
I'm not looking at her mouth, Dewey.
Shut it up.
DEWEY BANJER
Go 'head an' kiss her. Choke her with
that lamb tongue!
LAMMY
(turning to Dewey)
I was just looking at her necklace.
There's something strange about it.
(gulps glass of wine)
Why don't you slop with the pigs
where you belong!
DEWEY BANJER
(grins)
Want to know about what happened
to the real Lambkin?
Lammy stands silent for a while.
LAMMY
My baby? Lambkin! But I thought...
(turns away)
...No. I don't want to hear more lies!
The psychiatrist said my baby was a
delusion, not real. Just in my
imagination.
MURRY MAGDALENE
That happens, you know. I once
thought that after passing a kidney
stone I had given birth and the turd it
was in was the baby.
AXE MAN
Me Hero.
LYANNE SAKKS
(laughs)
That was a phony doctor you went
to, Lammy. Dr. Fraud! He just told
you that to get his pay. He's really a
plumber, so what does he know?
LAMMY
What? What are you guys talking
about?
PHELPS
Lammy. The truth is that you did
have a baby.
AXE MAN
(stares at Lammy)
Lammy? Have baby? Mine? Baby
mine?
LAMMY
(to Axe Man)
No idiot!
LYANNE SAKKS
Hell, anyone could be the father.
Lammy fucked every man around!
AXE MAN
Lammy. Good ass.
LAMMY
(screams)
That wasn't my baby I had!
MURRY MAGDALENE
Oh, girlfriend. I'm appalled.
FLOWERING KUDZU
We still love you, Lammy.
LYANNE SAKKS
Bitch!
PHELPS
Nappy head.
AXE MAN
Good ass.
DEWEY BANJER
Another bottle of wine? LAMMY Why
is everyone staring at me? Just take
a picture; it lasts longer! Can't I have
no privacy? Leave me alone, all you
guys! You are driving me crazy with
all this shit!
Lammy reaches over the bar and scoops up an armful
of bottles, then rushes out of the front door.
AXE MAN
Lammy. Gone. Gone. Duh.
FADE OUT:
4 comments:
I'd go see Dr. Schitz if I were you and ask him how many embryos you were a surro-goat for. He knows something, and Peter Piper swears up and down that he saw you with a real baby, of which he thinks he is the father.
If Murry passed a kidney stone in a turd, s/he must have had some truly creative surgery.
Probably by Dr. Schitz.
I think it was really a carpet tack that I swallowed when I was holding them in my mouth while repairing the rug.
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