Officer Sexxi
22 - EXT. HELL'S PASS HOSPITAL - NIGHT
FADE IN:
A police car drives very slowly down the lane to the
hospital.
It stops behind Snewgflo's SUV.
The door opens very slowly.
A woman police officer steps out shining a huge
flashlight.
She approaches the SUV and shines light through
windows.
OFFICER SEXXI
Open the door slowly and hold your
hands up!
She waits a few moments in silence.
Finally the door slowly opens and four hands stick
out.
MURRY MAGDALENE
Don't you dare shoot us, girlfriend,
with that big ole gun!
OFFICER SEXXI
Step out of the vehicle into the light
from my headlights!
REV. JIMMY REPTILE
Do we have to?
OFFICER SEXXI
Yes! Step out of the vehicle!
MURRY MAGDALENE
(to Reptile)
What's wrong, sweet cheeks? Don't
you want to show your glory?
REV. JIMMY REPTILE
It's not that. I don't want her to see
me with the likes of you!
OFFICER SEXXI
Step out of the vehicle now!
MURRY MAGDALENE
Now just chill, girlfriend.
They slowly and awkwardly climb from the SUV.
OFFICER SEXXI
What the holy hell?
REV. JIMMY REPTILE
I can explain officer. I was
kidnapped! I'm a victim! I have been
praying all night to be rescued!
OFFICER SEXXI
Why are you naked?
REV. JIMMY REPTILE
I'm James Reptile, pastor of the
Show the Glory Church.
OFFICER SEXXI
(to Murry)
And what the hell are you? A man in
woman's clothes!
MURRY MAGDALENE
I am a dancer at the Happy Wiener.
Oh, girlfriend, would you have a key
to these handcuffs? They are
chaffing my fragile wrists to no end.
I can hardly bear it!
OFFICER SEXXI
Just who kidnapped whom?
MURRY & REPTILE
They did!
They both speak at the same time and both point at
the spooky looking hospital.
Sexxi stares at the hospital.
OFFICER SEXXI
I heard a lot of strange things about
that place. Let's go!
Sexxi nods toward the hospital
REV. JIMMY REPTILE
Please, take the handcuffs off.
OFFICER SEXXI
Just start walking to the hospital, or
whatever the place is!
Sexxi follows Murry and Reptile, still handcuffed,
toward the back door.
FADE OUT:
5 comments:
I'll be following and reporting on whatever happens!
Come on over to Smut's studio, Evil Ed. We might need you in the upcoming scene where they sacrifice Lambkin to get the lamb's blood. And bring Lilly Strange, maybe she can do a cameo appearance to promote her book!
Eeek! Poor Lambkin! I must hurry to the rescue! Curse that vile Dr. Schitz! I am ashamed to have this mad scientist for a colleague.
Since "Lily Strange" is actually the pseudonym for The Cheesemeister and The Spooky Guy writing in tandem, you would probably have to put them together inside a really big trenchcoat. And disguise them to look like a two-headed Siamese twin. Since there's a foot of height discrepancy between them this could be interesting. And since Siamese twins are always both male or both female, you'd have to make Spooky go in drag. I don't know if he'll like this. Especially since Murry is likely to hit on him.
I have a better idea which shall avoid Murry making a pass on me--the thought of which makes me throw up a hairball.
Aunt Greta shall play the part of "Lily Strange." People like the way she speaks. And she has the mysterious look about her. We shall be her agents. And her bodyguards. She shall need this in that den of iniquity!
Hallelujah, Prays JESUS!!!!!
Officer Sexy I liked you better before when you had less close on!!!! SHOW you're glorry!!!!!
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