31 INT. BOARDROOM - MORNING
FADE IN.
Quatloo is putting on a fancy robe with many satanic
symbols on it.
Freddy Phelps enters and stares at him.
PHELPS
What the hell is that get-up?
QUATLOO
It's called a ritual robe.
PHELPS
You preparing for a Halloween Party,
like on your birthday?
Quatloo opens a box and tosses Phelps a robe.
QUATLOO
Put that on.
PHELPS
Why?
QUATLOO
We're having a ceremonial sacrifice.
Phelps examines his robe.
PHELPS
Have you joined a Satanic Cult?
QUATLOO
I just asked some people to come in
and help me with the blood-letting.
PHELPS
Blood-letting?
QUATLOO
Yes. They are going to remove the
blood from the little lamb. The
Lambkin.
PHELPS
You're going to kill the baby?
QUATLOO
We might have to. One way or the
other, I am going to gain eternal life!
PHELPS
You mean through Lambkin's blood?
QUATLOO
If it becomes necessary, then I will
have to go through with it. But I may
persuade the Grim Reaper to give me
an exemption from Death if he really
desires his baby.
PHELPS
You mean that you're going to
blackmail Grimmy to let you live
forever?
QUATLOO
It worked with everyone else so far.
They all succumb to my intimidation.
And if he refuses, then I'll drain the
blood from the baby and discover its
properties. I shall have eternal life
one way or the other!
PHELPS
You're a...
QUATLOO
Don't say it. You know what can
happen to you if you go against me!
Now put that on and let's go to the
ceremonial room we have prepared
for Lambkin.
FADE OUT:
5 comments:
Oh dear! Please don't kill Lambkin. If you bring her to me, I'll let you drink free at my pub for life. The stuff I serve will keep you preserved eternally, I guarantee!
Isn't that overkill when you could just have me or Dr. Schitz draw you a blood sample?
I love the statement by Quency. Exactly the point. Asinine Hyperbole is the style of the Lammy stories: ridiculous exaggeration to the point of unreasonable and overkill. Like the gum bubble that grows so fast and big that it just busts all over your face. We sometimes want something or to believe a point of view so badly that we end up sitting out on the limb we are cutting off. As a matter of fact, the comment of Quency is exactly the words of Lammy later on when she arrives to rescue her child, the words that bust Quatloo's bubble and brings him down to reality making him realize how his zeal made his quest go out of control and become stupid and beyond reason or logic.
Buzzoff and Buzzin wanted to name Death Cheese's next CD Asinine Hyperbole, but most of the other band members had no idea what that meant. I think they might have named one of the songs Unreasonable Overkill.
Just go with asinine--or even ass.
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